"So you pulled me into your farce instead of letting me be with my students who doubtlessly could be helping right now," Lord El-Melloi II finished coldly. His gaze was on the great Soul as well, lips pursed, eyebrows narrowed with no small amount of disapproval on his face. It let him hide the fact that what Roman just said suggested that Gray was in serious danger, and likely worried about him. Reines was...well, probably fine, as was Flat, but the rest of the classroom might not be as well off as the Archibald Princess and Flat.
If anyone was okay in this, it'd be Flat.
His mind stayed on Gray, even as Lord El-Melloi II managed to have enough sembelence of deceny to say, "Sorry to hear of those passings, especially with regards to Marisbilly."
Had Lord El-Melloi II known of the real relationship between Marisbilly and Roman, both Roman as Solomon and as Roman, there would be far more sympathy. As it was, Lord El-Melloi II indulged himself in being self centered.
"Dismiss me as a servant and let me get back to doing work in the world, not at the end of it."
For the moment, the doctor did not focus on the loss he experienced without Marisbilly. How did a Servant feel to outlive their Master? Even though he was no longer Solomon, there was bond forged between them that had been unique, as typical with those relationships went. It was just unnerving. It was the Servant who should have been the one helping their Master until their time is up, then vanish from the present. He lowered his gaze and uttered a quiet "thanks".
But for the rest-
Roman opened his mouth, but the string of excuses about how he didn't choose him to be summoned (nor the Heroic Spirit whom they had no catalyst to pull) all but died on his lips. He inspected his expression carefully. The cold voice. The way his eyes narrowed and his face contorted in displeasure. All signs of anger, but also... of frustration. Perhaps in another Chaldea, Roman would have lowered his head and take this just as a sign of what he deserved in his deep self-loathing, he never expected people to like him, but the opposite, it was only natural to hate and blame him. He didn't shoulder the secret guilt to scar him now. His time as a human being had been relatively spent in freedom until Marisbilly's tragic accident. This allowed him to read people, just a bit better, than he would be able to.
He was worried. About his students, he realized. That perhaps only he was the one saved.
He straightened his shoulders and rose with a serious expression. He bowed, one of the habits he picked in Japan during his journey. "I apologize for my lack of experience that brought you here, Lord El Melloi II, perhaps in the future we'll be able to reunite you with your students," he said, although he didn't want to make false promises, hope was fine, even for a pessimistic man like Romani. "However--" He lifted his face and straightened. Roman disliked confrontation, preferred his cowardly retreats to avoid upsetting people. Nonetheless, he was acting as the leader now. He had to show some resolve.
"This is no farce. Humanity is facing extinction. And, as irregular this is, you're housing a Heroic Spirit that could help us- no, help the world. So I have to ask you, as acting Director of Chaldea to help us, help humanity, to solve this. " He chose his words carefully next and gave them the weight to not just appeal Waver's sense of ethics, which if he remembered he had those, but also as a magus. "It is in my power to assign this ordeal as a 'Grand Order'."
Grand Order. The highest order of mission carried out by magi.
"If it is within your power to assign that kind of a designation, then be smart and get answers for yourself too."
Lord El-Melloi kept his gaze away from Roman. It helped him concentrate, to calculate, to find some way to deal with all of this. The world might be ending, but it was still a farce. Stupid. Just...stupid. He wasn't articulate right now, and a real fight about this required Lord El-Melloi II to actually argue rather than repeat the same words out of fruseration time and again.
"You don't know what happened at Clock Tower. Send me to London to do reconissance and see if any allies remain. If this...situation...has been forced upon me, then that same power should be more than enough to keep me safe."
The suggestion wasn't subtle. Roman had read the concerns on Lord El-Melloi II's face for what they were, but he also was willing to bank that the silence from Clock Tower and Olgamarie in specific was something that truly did need to be followed up on. If Roman was smart, if Roman had learned from Marisbilly and Lev, he'd agree, banking on any survivors being enough to actually keep Lord El-Melloi II from refusing to help further.
Again, Lord El-Melloi II reached into his coat pocket, this time finding his cigar case. He fished it out and opened it as a matter of habit. Roman had gotten a little bit of steel in him in the last ten years, that much was admirable and likely needed in a place with stronge personalities and stronger magecraft users.
"And answer this. How many other situations have you designated Grand Order to in Chaldea's time?"
Roman suppressed his first instinct - to be honest about how pointless that quest was. The urge to tell him that members of the staff had physically left and they lost contact with them and that Chaldea was in perfect isolation. That their power went down before it became mysteriously restored. Sometimes, he had come to understand, humans needed white lies to continue their existence. To have hope.
It never occurred to him how humanity received the news of the world's end. He had seen that sight so many times in the past. His eyes had picked up the pruning of countless timelines and thought nothing of it. It was an effective system clean up job, while, by his side, the pillar demons grieved and demanded him to change that fate. The fate of those lost, and those who died, in the present and the past, and the ones who lost even that.
He only understood the weight of loss after Marisbilly's passing. Five years ago, he spent nearly a week locked up and throwing up his food without knowing why he couldn't eat, why he couldn't sleep, work or think. In those dark days, Lev had stayed with him, worried about his remaining friend's health. That was when, in his loneliness, Roman had told him his secret. Marisbilly was gone from this world, did he have any right to continue to live as he did without his former Master?
Lev was gone now. He had no time to mourn him or to be able to understand why he took his own life when they needed him the most.
"All right," he conceded with a softer voice, after weighing it if it was good for Waver to go there. If there was a 'there', and if it wouldn't just be a waste of their resources. He didn't know how he would react if he lost hope. It would be easier if he had let him shoulder his burden. "I'll authorize you, but only after you assist Chaldea's Master in the next assignment." It was a bargain he thought necessary before he confronted the hopeless present reality.
He wanted to give him hope he could turn things around first.
When he fished his cigar case, his gaze fell on it and was about to inform him this isn't a smoking allowed area when he came with his second query. Despite the solemn situation, he gave a sheepish short laugh. "You caught me. This would be my first one in Chaldea's time."
Lord El-Melloi II, not Caster, not yet, anticipated that he would be sent out with Chaldea's chosen Master before being given permission to go to London. The fact he had to bargin at all, that his will was subservient to another's in such a direct way caused nothing but the usual distaste Lord El-Melloi II had for authority, but he had calculated this far.
"Acceptable," he said, going about the process of lighting the cigar. If Roman was about to say something about no smoking, then Lord El-Melloi II was ready to be a prick about there being a lack of no smoking signs.
This was the worst part of being a Servant, wasn't it? Restricted freedoms, and all the more so with quarters being tight. He had investigated a few key facilities in attempts to calm down after being summons (there were video games, thank God), but Lord El-Melloi II knew himself. With uncertainty hanging over his students and all of London, this was to be an endurance trial.
Other possibilities had eclipsed Lord El-Melloi II in his anger. The hope of reunion being the most important, for if he could be summoned, then Iskandar could as well.
"Mm, but it was a term you anticipated using eventually."
If Chaldea was built for this situation, then there were likely guidelines for when to use it. Cigar smoke began to circle around Lord El-Melloi II, and finally his gaze returned to the doctor.
Roman would have pointed out it was frankly impossible to simply use 'Caster' to address him because it would be very confusing when there were other Servants of the same class in Chaldea. In these circumstances, concealing his identity was more trouble than it was worth.
"Eh--Excuse me but," he said, holding his hand up to wave some of the smoke away, "It's forbidden to smoke here." He would scold him about how bad that was for his health if he wasn't a Servant. "If you want, we can go to the smoking room or another area that allows it." The small greenhouse he made years ago for example. A change of setting would help the new arrival to become more familiar with the premises.
He scratched the back of his head. How should he answer that? "I'm just your run on the mill doctor, Lord El Melloi II," he reminded him - reminded himself as well- with the too familiar self-depreciation. "I'm only saying this in name of those who entrusted me with this temporary position."
"Another area would be preferable then, unless there's anything else here required for a more in-depth introduction to this situation."
He was dropping strong vocabulary to describe how it felt to be walking around Chaldea, which meant that for now, his anger was down to a simmer instead of boiling over and splashing everyone in the metaphorical kitchen. In an effort to be polite, Lord El-Melloi II shifted his body as well, ensuring Roman would be downwind from the smoke. It took little effort and hopefully it would spare him lectures about health. He was well aware, and the cigars primarily served a function.
But at Roman describing himself as being a run of the mill doctor, Lord El-Melloi II snorted.
"Bullshit," he said. "You've been around mages for ten years, that much has been demonstrated to me already. More than that, you're the man in charge of the control room and this entire organization. Temporary or not, you're the defacto leader here. Moreover, you have been here since the beginning with the other founders. The notion you don't know something like the fact that Grand Orders were something Chaldea didn't anticipate from the beginning rings awfully hollow to my ears."
Lord El-Melloi II paused just for a moment, puffing a single smoke ring. "You're unique in where you stand, Doctor Roman. There's no value in downplaying it. Own the fact, as making a point of it will be needed down the line."
"That is, if you don't mind, I can suggest a less inorganic area too," Roman nodded, knowing these sterile white walls would take a toll on people's mental health sooner or later. That was why he made that secluded garden with Marisbilly's permission. It wasn't the only room he designed, there was another one, but it was unstable to visit.
The doctor smiled and gestured for him to follow him. His back was thus half turned when he assessed him in such borderline praiseworthy way. I don't want to, he wanted to retort, feeling the grip of stress by all these new responsibilities he had to overtake. Why did Lev leave him in charge? There were certainly more people capable than Roman. There was no sabotage in this timeline, and while a lot of their higher-ups left with Olgamarie for London, a few engineers had stayed behind. Was it because he knew who he used to be?
"At the worst scenario, we anticipated a minor order," he explained, averting his gaze first before he worked up the courage to meet his gaze. "I don't think I'm that special, but switching the Order gravity was probably my call."
He could admit that much now, hurrying to whirl around and not meet his gaze anymore. Lord El Melloi II was sharp, and now merged with Zhuge Liang, his observation was probably keener. This was going to be difficult when Roman's favorite hobbies were eating cake, browsing net idols blogs and downplaying himself.
"Lead on." Lord El-Melloi II had no problem with getting out of the control room. It was a place that set his teeth on edge for no particular reason that could be articulated. All Lord El-Melloi II knew was that he did not care for it and would much rather be free of the place.
Trailing behind Roman at an appreciable half-step, Lord El-Melloi II listened carefully to the doctor's response. The statement about only expecting a minor order seemed true enough, but not entirely. There had to be an inkling, no mater how remote the possibility. But that was not a statement and an argument worth pursuing, and the way Roman held eye contact was far, far more concerning.
"Roman," he said, the sternness in his voice giving way to something that put years on El-Melloi II. It wasn't exhausted, but it had the quiet I've seen some shit tone. "You know my reputation at Clock Tower is that I can identify an individual's skill set and then bring it to it's greatest strength, right?"
He brought it up to make a point, but Lord El-Melloi II wanted to see if Roman would get to it first.
Roman never voiced his possible discomfort with the control room, but he had associated it with some of his worst memories. That too was a cowardly side of him. It was the place he couldn't run as easily, where he had to make decisions when he would rather skip that.
The small green area was located in between the staff chambers and the control room but on a level above. It was the most organic spot of the otherwise sterilized organization, a mix between a park and a greenhouse. "Here we are," Roman announced cheerfully, stretching his arms and taking a long breath. "I thought this area would help those members of staff who face anxiety. There is a simulator, and we have a cinema screen, but sometimes we want to touch the real thing." Getting locked up surrounded by a frozen landscape for years could take a toll even with the strongest of mind. He gestured him to sit on one of the benches to continue their conversation.
Of course he had heard him, he just wanted to delay the topic so he wouldn't be speaking of this in the hallway with the rest of Chaldea watching.
"I know of your talent," he finally said, smiling, "I'm neither a magus", he said, almost feeling bad for lying (although he had no magic circuits right now), "Nor your student."
There is a part of Lord El-Melloi II that wonders how wise it is to have a burning ember in a green house, but the rest of him dismisses the concern outright. There are Heroic Spirits everywhere. A fire would be a non-issue, and he has never been stupid enough to ash fall anywhere that could catch flame.
His eyes linger as they enter the green house, taking the place in. His pale skin was enough to say that being outdoors was never a great priority, but between this and the rest of Chaldea, the need for it was obvious. God willing, Lord El-Melloi II could use any downtime in Chaldea to work through a backlog of video games, but he knew how chaotic Grail Wars were. A proper Grand Order would not allow for such a thing.
"It's very well kept," he said, taking a seat. Looking up at Roman, Lord El-Melloi II let out a dersive snort. He missed the point
"I wouldn't wish either on you. The purpose of the reminder was that I can see you do have the abilities, and denying that fact around me is utterly pointless. It borders on annoying."
The green area still an artificially controlled environment that would detect the forgotten embers, nonetheless Roman trusts that El Melloi wouldn't be careless to let that happen. He sits down and slowly stretches his atrophied limbs. He's spent too many days locked up in that control room, and it shows.
"Ah, I see I see, that must be how you realized my potential as video game player," Roman points out in other to move the topic from any serious abilities and to make him feel at ease. "I've practiced, you know, even if it's expensive to ship new releases to our location."
"...Honestly," Lord El-Melloi II began, a little discomfort in his voice. "No. I was initially very annoyed that my day was interrupted and hoped that I'd find a way to occupy you while I got things done."
The embarrassment was clear enough. "But if you've practiced, then we need to examine that together when you're not in that control room."
Something said that Roman out of the control room was a rare occurrence, but the gesture was far more important than the act itself. Either way, Lord El-Melloi II was aware that topics had shifted, and he glanced over Roman's entire person before clicking his tongue. He understood not wanting the position that one had.
"I thought so," Roman answers automatically with a small smile and unconcealed amusement, "Don't worry, I remember being excitable during those days. I would probably annoy myself now." He has a lot of patience to spare in order to keep Chaldea running as it does. He takes his self-depreciation with good humor.
When he offers to play with him (he's no fool to not recognize a poorly worded excuse), his eyes widen. He's never expected him to actually want to spend time with him willingly. "Really?" he utters more startled than he has wanted to show.
His next question is hard to face. "I'm a chicken, so it's natural that I want to run away and hide," he admits openly. That is the only thing he can be honest with everyone. "I didn't think I'd had to become the leader here, it's..." Stressing, familiar, he wants to meet expectations, but he's so afraid he is losing himself he if becomes the leader they need him to be. He can't tell Waver this. He pushes a strand of his hair anxiously. "You think I have the potential," he wonders aloud, and shows he's paid attention to his observation, "But not everything is a natural talent, Lord El Melloi II."
It's really hard for him to concede he's probably not a bad choice to be the acting Director, nonetheless, what makes him miserable isn't administrating but facing up with choices that ultimately upset people.
"Perhaps. But I enjoyed the day in the end. It was a nice and much needed break, and I continue to be astounded that none of my students appeared to ruin it."
The words left Lord El-Melloi II's mouth a little too quickly, and they sent him into a stunned silence. Everything was a reminder that he didn't know their status beyond Chaldea's walls, and that was still a source of anger. Anger that had just abated moments before.
He was angry. But it was harder to direct it at Roman now, at least, harder to do it and not come off as the horrible nineteen year old brat he hated. He wouldn't inflict that on anyone.
He managed to nod in confirmation to Roman's really?, because that was something to focus on. Lord El-Melloi shifted in his seat, eyes on Roman and the small laurel tree just behind him. There. Focus.
"It isn't a matter of think," he corrected with what was for him a normal degree of frankness. "You've already demonstrated it. There are also trite quotations about those who are best suited for power usually shy away from it, but as I said, they're trite. So I'll say this instead: there is nothing I loathe more than my status in Clock Tower because it invites unwanted and undesired attention. I would never compare myself to poultry," just slaughter it to summon Alexander the Great, "But I do understand the impulse."
He's astonished for a second. All these years, after looking back to his previous behavior, he's assumed he had annoyed him that day. He's almost embarrassed to face his misunderstanding. But he hasn't contacted them again, despite his invitation to Chaldea, what else he's supposed to assume?
Does this mean I made a new friend? he thinks, musing about that, something exciting but also scary after he lost his two closest friends.
"I wouldn't say no to you if you want to play," he finally says, grinning from ear to ear. "I don't know how my schedule will get, but you're also welcome to borrow my console if I can't make it in time." There is also a recreation room, but he knows Lord El Melloi II enjoys his privacy to share it with the staff, human or Servant alike.
Talking about this lifts his spirits a little, even if the next serious topic is hard to approach, he gains a bit more of courage. He quiets about having the experience to draw about leadership and proper administration, nonetheless, he appreciates his attempt to reassure him (is that what he's doing?). "The Clock Tower needs people like you, Lord El Melloi II," he says with a firmer voice. It's his turn, he supposes, so he draws a little breath. "Magi need to be reminded they are stripped from common decency and ethics just because of the craft they practice." That's just a fabrication they make for themselves as if trying to live apart from the rest of society, Roman thinks. "I get it. Every close circle of researchers after reaching certain notoriety and wealth, close off, but you guys are still human."
Roman's assumption of being annoying wouldn't be inaccurate. But had Lord El-Melloi II gotten a whiff of what Chaldea was about earlier, he might have seen the whole enterprise as...well, something to be more alarmed about. It was better that he lived in ignorance until being summoned by far greater forces.
"The less I have to deal with anyone else asking what I'm doing, the better," he said in response to Roman's offer. Privacy was important, keeping Lord El-Melloi II's patience in tact was even more important. Chaldea invited all personalities, and clash was inevitable.
Watching Roman's demeanor shift into seriousness again, it was hard for Lord El-Melloi II to not feel that Roman was far better at leadership and insight than he liked to let on. It was a hard decision to fault Roman for, and wherever the ability came from, Lord El-Melloi II was not about to ask. The origin was inevitably personal and not something to be shared lightly.
"Everything you said is a basic fact that everyone loves to ignore. There should be more than one person around saying something that obvious."
Chaldea's darkest secrets have been kept confidential and even from Roman's knowledge. It's not that Marisbilly hasn't trusted him, he hoped, but probably because he didn't want to ruin their friendship. The demi Servant experiment started years before they met. He won't condone his actions, regardless.
"I thought you might prefer that," he says, nodding. He also doesn't know how he'll adjust. He is neither human anymore nor he is a full Heroic Spirit. Maybe Mashu will be of help to guide him. It occurs to him that he has no idea if he knows how to wield Zhuge Liang's power. Or how is affecting his soul, he realizes in concern. He'll have Leonardo see him immediately if he agrees.
"What about your students? Don't they share your views?"
"I suppose that on that front, I'm not exactly subtle, am I?" The question was light, even if Lord El-Melloi II's tone remained deadly serious. He couldn't force any levity at the moment, even if it was just making a crappy joke. Anger was beginning to give way to exhaustion.
Not that he'd fall asleep in an instant. The quiet of a bedroom would let him ponder the same questions as Roman about being...this abomination. What it meant to have these powers, and what it might mean on a soul level.
"It only matters if others decide to listen to them and observe their work with respect."
"I understand all of us to have different boundaries," Roman just says jovially. He's outwardly social but he only keeps a few close friendships. It's just easier to deal with people if you don't upset them. "I don't know if my taste of game aligns to works, though, but I'm sure there must be something you can play."
This is a man with Pretty Idol School Project series as his favorites.
That sounds like they have troubles. Maybe if they could sponsor... Marie surely will listen, right? But talking about them will just make waver and he concern about what's out their reach. "You'll make sure of it when you get back."
He'll find a way to separate him of the Heroic Spirit if that causes him future trouble.
Boundaries? Those seemed to be growing thinner and thinner, if current body circumstances were anything to go on. The word prompted a thin, wry smile from Lord El-Melloi II before he gave any comment on what selection there may (or may not) be.
"Believe me when I say that if this situation endures for any extended amount of time, I may simply play my way through the entire catalogue."
He'd be hyper critical, as was only natural for Lord El-Melloi II, but every game would be gone through. There would simply be no way to mail comment cards out to the game designers to give them feedback. Not if what Roman said was true.
"Assuming that this entire mess doesn't kill me first. That possibility shouldn't be discounted."
Being granted the powers of a Heroic Spirit or no, Lord El-Melloi II was used to certain safeguards. Gray not being present to protect him was the biggest worry of all. The teenager he had met years ago had since grown into a twenty-something who at this rate might well be his apprentice for life. Partly to learn, but partly to keep as his bodyguard, protector, and (in all honesty) Reines buffer.
He forgot about the 'fusion' (which he hadn't analyzed yet how it worked). This makes his expression deflate slightly. Zhuge Liang, one of the legendary strategists from China, and a Heroic Spirit who surely doesn't sound like a busybody either, it must be uncomfortable for both parties. He still doesn't understand why he had taken a human host.
"I hope it'll be enough to keep your mind distracted until we find a solution."
It isn't like he could return his games to the developers! And what kind of man would hate cute cheerful idols with high pitched yet addictive pop songs?
"T-That won't happen!" Roman quickly interjects, after a passing distraction of wondering if he should water the garden now or wait until he's alone. He coughs, clearing his throat to continue his explanation. " Lord El Melloi II, when I said to join the Master in a mission, I meant to provide strategic insight from the control room!" He's not going to dispatch him to the battlefield without even knowing if he can fight or no, and certainly not without his consent.
"I need Leonardo to run some tests to try to, um, measure your current vitals. I could offer a medical check-up too, but I think is going to be useless."
The question was asked with a level of seriousness, like asking after particular lab results. It was important information, especially since once the library was completed (and oh, it would be completed), there was a high chance that Lord El-Melloi II would be very, very bored. His present demeanor already made it clear that he wasn't inclined to get along with others quickly either, meaning bonding with other Heroic Spirits would be, in light terms, an adventure of sorts.
"Roman, be realistic," he continued, gesturing with his free hand towards the cigar. "Discount the battlefield. I could get a surprise heart attack or some other natural occurrance could pick me off. As you've said, this is a unique situation. I am still flesh and blood, and heir to all that entails. I wheeze after running for just a minute or two."
That was a fact that always made Gray worry. She'd be worried now too, especially since Roman's last few words made him sound closer to some kind of horrifying mage experiment. That this one was accidental was...well, it wasn't clear if that made things better or worse.
"Given that you don't have a baseline for my normal, I'd agree about that being useless. What tests are you intending to run?"
"I-I haven't run an inventory of the games, but surely over twenty," he estimates. Olgamarie certainly didn't approve a budget for those. He's also only played a few matches of chess and cards with both Lev and Marisbilly in the past. "We have a wide movie collection, though." Mostly because the late Chaldea director has wanted to spoil him.
"Are you certain you're flesh and blood?" Roman wonders, thinking about the implications of a Heroic Spirit merging with a living human like that. Mashu is different, she's been cruelly made for such purpose. "I'd like Da Vinci to confirm in case your body isn't another materialization if you don't mind." It'll also help to relieve him he won't endure lasting injuries.
Perhaps he chose his words poorly, sometimes he does that. This, and his ability to utter uncalled commentary in the worst circumstances. It's a gift.
"Uh, w-well, I mean to measure your strength and scan your body, for example -- Things like that I guess?" Romani says unsure of what they could do. Leonardo can think about it. He hopes she wouldn't try anything flashy "Even if we don't have your normal file, if you can weight or run faster than the average without reinforcing your body, it's an indication."
"Only twenty?" There was no denying the disappointment in his voice, but Lord El-Melloi II nodded after he thought about it for a moment. "Well they're more expensive than DVDs, so that's understandable. But with a collection that wide...jeez, are you doing stuff like Servant movie night?" He hoped not. That made Chaldea sound like weird Servant summer camp.
Roman's question did give Lord El-Melloi II pause, and there was a fraction of real horror that he was already that far removed from even being a mage. It went away quickly, and Lord El-Melloi II accepted that if Roman saw anything, well. Roman already had seen Lord El-Melloi II's inital reaction. The more slower realizations mustn't be that big a surprise.
"...I will be honest, if I can run at all, I'd advise you consider it a marked improvement from what qualifies as a baseline." Never one to avoid admitting most weaknesses, Lord El-Melloi II felt comfortable divulging that much. Still, he was now far quieter than before, the question of how much was truly him in his body now genuinely starting to weight.
He paused before asking his next question. "In your own estimation, how do you believe this will impact general health in the long run? Assuming nothing untowards happens between now and the completion of this Grand Order."
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If anyone was okay in this, it'd be Flat.
His mind stayed on Gray, even as Lord El-Melloi II managed to have enough sembelence of deceny to say, "Sorry to hear of those passings, especially with regards to Marisbilly."
Had Lord El-Melloi II known of the real relationship between Marisbilly and Roman, both Roman as Solomon and as Roman, there would be far more sympathy. As it was, Lord El-Melloi II indulged himself in being self centered.
"Dismiss me as a servant and let me get back to doing work in the world, not at the end of it."
He said the words plainly, but it was a demand.
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But for the rest-
Roman opened his mouth, but the string of excuses about how he didn't choose him to be summoned (nor the Heroic Spirit whom they had no catalyst to pull) all but died on his lips. He inspected his expression carefully. The cold voice. The way his eyes narrowed and his face contorted in displeasure. All signs of anger, but also... of frustration. Perhaps in another Chaldea, Roman would have lowered his head and take this just as a sign of what he deserved in his deep self-loathing, he never expected people to like him, but the opposite, it was only natural to hate and blame him. He didn't shoulder the secret guilt to scar him now. His time as a human being had been relatively spent in freedom until Marisbilly's tragic accident. This allowed him to read people, just a bit better, than he would be able to.
He was worried. About his students, he realized. That perhaps only he was the one saved.
He straightened his shoulders and rose with a serious expression. He bowed, one of the habits he picked in Japan during his journey. "I apologize for my lack of experience that brought you here, Lord El Melloi II, perhaps in the future we'll be able to reunite you with your students," he said, although he didn't want to make false promises, hope was fine, even for a pessimistic man like Romani. "However--" He lifted his face and straightened. Roman disliked confrontation, preferred his cowardly retreats to avoid upsetting people. Nonetheless, he was acting as the leader now. He had to show some resolve.
"This is no farce. Humanity is facing extinction. And, as irregular this is, you're housing a Heroic Spirit that could help us- no, help the world. So I have to ask you, as acting Director of Chaldea to help us, help humanity, to solve this. " He chose his words carefully next and gave them the weight to not just appeal Waver's sense of ethics, which if he remembered he had those, but also as a magus. "It is in my power to assign this ordeal as a 'Grand Order'."
Grand Order. The highest order of mission carried out by magi.
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Lord El-Melloi kept his gaze away from Roman. It helped him concentrate, to calculate, to find some way to deal with all of this. The world might be ending, but it was still a farce. Stupid. Just...stupid. He wasn't articulate right now, and a real fight about this required Lord El-Melloi II to actually argue rather than repeat the same words out of fruseration time and again.
"You don't know what happened at Clock Tower. Send me to London to do reconissance and see if any allies remain. If this...situation...has been forced upon me, then that same power should be more than enough to keep me safe."
The suggestion wasn't subtle. Roman had read the concerns on Lord El-Melloi II's face for what they were, but he also was willing to bank that the silence from Clock Tower and Olgamarie in specific was something that truly did need to be followed up on. If Roman was smart, if Roman had learned from Marisbilly and Lev, he'd agree, banking on any survivors being enough to actually keep Lord El-Melloi II from refusing to help further.
Again, Lord El-Melloi II reached into his coat pocket, this time finding his cigar case. He fished it out and opened it as a matter of habit. Roman had gotten a little bit of steel in him in the last ten years, that much was admirable and likely needed in a place with stronge personalities and stronger magecraft users.
"And answer this. How many other situations have you designated Grand Order to in Chaldea's time?"
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Roman suppressed his first instinct - to be honest about how pointless that quest was. The urge to tell him that members of the staff had physically left and they lost contact with them and that Chaldea was in perfect isolation. That their power went down before it became mysteriously restored. Sometimes, he had come to understand, humans needed white lies to continue their existence. To have hope.
It never occurred to him how humanity received the news of the world's end. He had seen that sight so many times in the past. His eyes had picked up the pruning of countless timelines and thought nothing of it. It was an effective system clean up job, while, by his side, the pillar demons grieved and demanded him to change that fate. The fate of those lost, and those who died, in the present and the past, and the ones who lost even that.
He only understood the weight of loss after Marisbilly's passing. Five years ago, he spent nearly a week locked up and throwing up his food without knowing why he couldn't eat, why he couldn't sleep, work or think. In those dark days, Lev had stayed with him, worried about his remaining friend's health. That was when, in his loneliness, Roman had told him his secret. Marisbilly was gone from this world, did he have any right to continue to live as he did without his former Master?
Lev was gone now. He had no time to mourn him or to be able to understand why he took his own life when they needed him the most.
"All right," he conceded with a softer voice, after weighing it if it was good for Waver to go there. If there was a 'there', and if it wouldn't just be a waste of their resources. He didn't know how he would react if he lost hope. It would be easier if he had let him shoulder his burden. "I'll authorize you, but only after you assist Chaldea's Master in the next assignment." It was a bargain he thought necessary before he confronted the hopeless present reality.
He wanted to give him hope he could turn things around first.
When he fished his cigar case, his gaze fell on it and was about to inform him this isn't a smoking allowed area when he came with his second query. Despite the solemn situation, he gave a sheepish short laugh. "You caught me. This would be my first one in Chaldea's time."
But it wasn't the first time, no.
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"Acceptable," he said, going about the process of lighting the cigar. If Roman was about to say something about no smoking, then Lord El-Melloi II was ready to be a prick about there being a lack of no smoking signs.
This was the worst part of being a Servant, wasn't it? Restricted freedoms, and all the more so with quarters being tight. He had investigated a few key facilities in attempts to calm down after being summons (there were video games, thank God), but Lord El-Melloi II knew himself. With uncertainty hanging over his students and all of London, this was to be an endurance trial.
Other possibilities had eclipsed Lord El-Melloi II in his anger. The hope of reunion being the most important, for if he could be summoned, then Iskandar could as well.
"Mm, but it was a term you anticipated using eventually."
If Chaldea was built for this situation, then there were likely guidelines for when to use it. Cigar smoke began to circle around Lord El-Melloi II, and finally his gaze returned to the doctor.
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"Eh--Excuse me but," he said, holding his hand up to wave some of the smoke away, "It's forbidden to smoke here." He would scold him about how bad that was for his health if he wasn't a Servant. "If you want, we can go to the smoking room or another area that allows it." The small greenhouse he made years ago for example. A change of setting would help the new arrival to become more familiar with the premises.
He scratched the back of his head. How should he answer that? "I'm just your run on the mill doctor, Lord El Melloi II," he reminded him - reminded himself as well- with the too familiar self-depreciation. "I'm only saying this in name of those who entrusted me with this temporary position."
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He was dropping strong vocabulary to describe how it felt to be walking around Chaldea, which meant that for now, his anger was down to a simmer instead of boiling over and splashing everyone in the metaphorical kitchen. In an effort to be polite, Lord El-Melloi II shifted his body as well, ensuring Roman would be downwind from the smoke. It took little effort and hopefully it would spare him lectures about health. He was well aware, and the cigars primarily served a function.
But at Roman describing himself as being a run of the mill doctor, Lord El-Melloi II snorted.
"Bullshit," he said. "You've been around mages for ten years, that much has been demonstrated to me already. More than that, you're the man in charge of the control room and this entire organization. Temporary or not, you're the defacto leader here. Moreover, you have been here since the beginning with the other founders. The notion you don't know something like the fact that Grand Orders were something Chaldea didn't anticipate from the beginning rings awfully hollow to my ears."
Lord El-Melloi II paused just for a moment, puffing a single smoke ring. "You're unique in where you stand, Doctor Roman. There's no value in downplaying it. Own the fact, as making a point of it will be needed down the line."
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The doctor smiled and gestured for him to follow him. His back was thus half turned when he assessed him in such borderline praiseworthy way. I don't want to, he wanted to retort, feeling the grip of stress by all these new responsibilities he had to overtake. Why did Lev leave him in charge? There were certainly more people capable than Roman. There was no sabotage in this timeline, and while a lot of their higher-ups left with Olgamarie for London, a few engineers had stayed behind. Was it because he knew who he used to be?
"At the worst scenario, we anticipated a minor order," he explained, averting his gaze first before he worked up the courage to meet his gaze. "I don't think I'm that special, but switching the Order gravity was probably my call."
He could admit that much now, hurrying to whirl around and not meet his gaze anymore. Lord El Melloi II was sharp, and now merged with Zhuge Liang, his observation was probably keener. This was going to be difficult when Roman's favorite hobbies were eating cake, browsing net idols blogs and downplaying himself.
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Trailing behind Roman at an appreciable half-step, Lord El-Melloi II listened carefully to the doctor's response. The statement about only expecting a minor order seemed true enough, but not entirely. There had to be an inkling, no mater how remote the possibility. But that was not a statement and an argument worth pursuing, and the way Roman held eye contact was far, far more concerning.
"Roman," he said, the sternness in his voice giving way to something that put years on El-Melloi II. It wasn't exhausted, but it had the quiet I've seen some shit tone. "You know my reputation at Clock Tower is that I can identify an individual's skill set and then bring it to it's greatest strength, right?"
He brought it up to make a point, but Lord El-Melloi II wanted to see if Roman would get to it first.
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The small green area was located in between the staff chambers and the control room but on a level above. It was the most organic spot of the otherwise sterilized organization, a mix between a park and a greenhouse. "Here we are," Roman announced cheerfully, stretching his arms and taking a long breath. "I thought this area would help those members of staff who face anxiety. There is a simulator, and we have a cinema screen, but sometimes we want to touch the real thing." Getting locked up surrounded by a frozen landscape for years could take a toll even with the strongest of mind. He gestured him to sit on one of the benches to continue their conversation.
Of course he had heard him, he just wanted to delay the topic so he wouldn't be speaking of this in the hallway with the rest of Chaldea watching.
"I know of your talent," he finally said, smiling, "I'm neither a magus", he said, almost feeling bad for lying (although he had no magic circuits right now), "Nor your student."
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His eyes linger as they enter the green house, taking the place in. His pale skin was enough to say that being outdoors was never a great priority, but between this and the rest of Chaldea, the need for it was obvious. God willing, Lord El-Melloi II could use any downtime in Chaldea to work through a backlog of video games, but he knew how chaotic Grail Wars were. A proper Grand Order would not allow for such a thing.
"It's very well kept," he said, taking a seat. Looking up at Roman, Lord El-Melloi II let out a dersive snort. He missed the point
"I wouldn't wish either on you. The purpose of the reminder was that I can see you do have the abilities, and denying that fact around me is utterly pointless. It borders on annoying."
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"Ah, I see I see, that must be how you realized my potential as video game player," Roman points out in other to move the topic from any serious abilities and to make him feel at ease. "I've practiced, you know, even if it's expensive to ship new releases to our location."
Most mailing companies don't cover Antarctica.
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The embarrassment was clear enough. "But if you've practiced, then we need to examine that together when you're not in that control room."
Something said that Roman out of the control room was a rare occurrence, but the gesture was far more important than the act itself. Either way, Lord El-Melloi II was aware that topics had shifted, and he glanced over Roman's entire person before clicking his tongue. He understood not wanting the position that one had.
"You'd welcome a chance to step down, huh?"
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When he offers to play with him (he's no fool to not recognize a poorly worded excuse), his eyes widen. He's never expected him to actually want to spend time with him willingly. "Really?" he utters more startled than he has wanted to show.
His next question is hard to face. "I'm a chicken, so it's natural that I want to run away and hide," he admits openly. That is the only thing he can be honest with everyone. "I didn't think I'd had to become the leader here, it's..." Stressing, familiar, he wants to meet expectations, but he's so afraid he is losing himself he if becomes the leader they need him to be. He can't tell Waver this. He pushes a strand of his hair anxiously. "You think I have the potential," he wonders aloud, and shows he's paid attention to his observation, "But not everything is a natural talent, Lord El Melloi II."
It's really hard for him to concede he's probably not a bad choice to be the acting Director, nonetheless, what makes him miserable isn't administrating but facing up with choices that ultimately upset people.
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The words left Lord El-Melloi II's mouth a little too quickly, and they sent him into a stunned silence. Everything was a reminder that he didn't know their status beyond Chaldea's walls, and that was still a source of anger. Anger that had just abated moments before.
He was angry. But it was harder to direct it at Roman now, at least, harder to do it and not come off as the horrible nineteen year old brat he hated. He wouldn't inflict that on anyone.
He managed to nod in confirmation to Roman's really?, because that was something to focus on. Lord El-Melloi shifted in his seat, eyes on Roman and the small laurel tree just behind him. There. Focus.
"It isn't a matter of think," he corrected with what was for him a normal degree of frankness. "You've already demonstrated it. There are also trite quotations about those who are best suited for power usually shy away from it, but as I said, they're trite. So I'll say this instead: there is nothing I loathe more than my status in Clock Tower because it invites unwanted and undesired attention. I would never compare myself to poultry," just slaughter it to summon Alexander the Great, "But I do understand the impulse."
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Does this mean I made a new friend? he thinks, musing about that, something exciting but also scary after he lost his two closest friends.
"I wouldn't say no to you if you want to play," he finally says, grinning from ear to ear. "I don't know how my schedule will get, but you're also welcome to borrow my console if I can't make it in time." There is also a recreation room, but he knows Lord El Melloi II enjoys his privacy to share it with the staff, human or Servant alike.
Talking about this lifts his spirits a little, even if the next serious topic is hard to approach, he gains a bit more of courage. He quiets about having the experience to draw about leadership and proper administration, nonetheless, he appreciates his attempt to reassure him (is that what he's doing?). "The Clock Tower needs people like you, Lord El Melloi II," he says with a firmer voice. It's his turn, he supposes, so he draws a little breath. "Magi need to be reminded they are stripped from common decency and ethics just because of the craft they practice." That's just a fabrication they make for themselves as if trying to live apart from the rest of society, Roman thinks. "I get it. Every close circle of researchers after reaching certain notoriety and wealth, close off, but you guys are still human."
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"The less I have to deal with anyone else asking what I'm doing, the better," he said in response to Roman's offer. Privacy was important, keeping Lord El-Melloi II's patience in tact was even more important. Chaldea invited all personalities, and clash was inevitable.
Watching Roman's demeanor shift into seriousness again, it was hard for Lord El-Melloi II to not feel that Roman was far better at leadership and insight than he liked to let on. It was a hard decision to fault Roman for, and wherever the ability came from, Lord El-Melloi II was not about to ask. The origin was inevitably personal and not something to be shared lightly.
"Everything you said is a basic fact that everyone loves to ignore. There should be more than one person around saying something that obvious."
thanks lost room for a chronology!
"I thought you might prefer that," he says, nodding. He also doesn't know how he'll adjust. He is neither human anymore nor he is a full Heroic Spirit. Maybe Mashu will be of help to guide him. It occurs to him that he has no idea if he knows how to wield Zhuge Liang's power. Or how is affecting his soul, he realizes in concern. He'll have Leonardo see him immediately if he agrees.
"What about your students? Don't they share your views?"
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Not that he'd fall asleep in an instant. The quiet of a bedroom would let him ponder the same questions as Roman about being...this abomination. What it meant to have these powers, and what it might mean on a soul level.
"It only matters if others decide to listen to them and observe their work with respect."
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This is a man with Pretty Idol School Project series as his favorites.
That sounds like they have troubles. Maybe if they could sponsor... Marie surely will listen, right? But talking about them will just make waver and he concern about what's out their reach. "You'll make sure of it when you get back."
He'll find a way to separate him of the Heroic Spirit if that causes him future trouble.
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"Believe me when I say that if this situation endures for any extended amount of time, I may simply play my way through the entire catalogue."
He'd be hyper critical, as was only natural for Lord El-Melloi II, but every game would be gone through. There would simply be no way to mail comment cards out to the game designers to give them feedback. Not if what Roman said was true.
"Assuming that this entire mess doesn't kill me first. That possibility shouldn't be discounted."
Being granted the powers of a Heroic Spirit or no, Lord El-Melloi II was used to certain safeguards. Gray not being present to protect him was the biggest worry of all. The teenager he had met years ago had since grown into a twenty-something who at this rate might well be his apprentice for life. Partly to learn, but partly to keep as his bodyguard, protector, and (in all honesty) Reines buffer.
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"I hope it'll be enough to keep your mind distracted until we find a solution."
It isn't like he could return his games to the developers! And what kind of man would hate cute cheerful idols with high pitched yet addictive pop songs?
"T-That won't happen!" Roman quickly interjects, after a passing distraction of wondering if he should water the garden now or wait until he's alone. He coughs, clearing his throat to continue his explanation. " Lord El Melloi II, when I said to join the Master in a mission, I meant to provide strategic insight from the control room!" He's not going to dispatch him to the battlefield without even knowing if he can fight or no, and certainly not without his consent.
"I need Leonardo to run some tests to try to, um, measure your current vitals. I could offer a medical check-up too, but I think is going to be useless."
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The question was asked with a level of seriousness, like asking after particular lab results. It was important information, especially since once the library was completed (and oh, it would be completed), there was a high chance that Lord El-Melloi II would be very, very bored. His present demeanor already made it clear that he wasn't inclined to get along with others quickly either, meaning bonding with other Heroic Spirits would be, in light terms, an adventure of sorts.
"Roman, be realistic," he continued, gesturing with his free hand towards the cigar. "Discount the battlefield. I could get a surprise heart attack or some other natural occurrance could pick me off. As you've said, this is a unique situation. I am still flesh and blood, and heir to all that entails. I wheeze after running for just a minute or two."
That was a fact that always made Gray worry. She'd be worried now too, especially since Roman's last few words made him sound closer to some kind of horrifying mage experiment. That this one was accidental was...well, it wasn't clear if that made things better or worse.
"Given that you don't have a baseline for my normal, I'd agree about that being useless. What tests are you intending to run?"
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"Are you certain you're flesh and blood?" Roman wonders, thinking about the implications of a Heroic Spirit merging with a living human like that. Mashu is different, she's been cruelly made for such purpose. "I'd like Da Vinci to confirm in case your body isn't another materialization if you don't mind." It'll also help to relieve him he won't endure lasting injuries.
Perhaps he chose his words poorly, sometimes he does that. This, and his ability to utter uncalled commentary in the worst circumstances. It's a gift.
"Uh, w-well, I mean to measure your strength and scan your body, for example -- Things like that I guess?" Romani says unsure of what they could do. Leonardo can think about it. He hopes she wouldn't try anything flashy "Even if we don't have your normal file, if you can weight or run faster than the average without reinforcing your body, it's an indication."
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Roman's question did give Lord El-Melloi II pause, and there was a fraction of real horror that he was already that far removed from even being a mage. It went away quickly, and Lord El-Melloi II accepted that if Roman saw anything, well. Roman already had seen Lord El-Melloi II's inital reaction. The more slower realizations mustn't be that big a surprise.
"...I will be honest, if I can run at all, I'd advise you consider it a marked improvement from what qualifies as a baseline." Never one to avoid admitting most weaknesses, Lord El-Melloi II felt comfortable divulging that much. Still, he was now far quieter than before, the question of how much was truly him in his body now genuinely starting to weight.
He paused before asking his next question. "In your own estimation, how do you believe this will impact general health in the long run? Assuming nothing untowards happens between now and the completion of this Grand Order."
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we can timeskip?
And now we jump to the left
yeah I know he's not supposed to be talking with merlin in this au but I can't help but sneak this
shhhh no apologies only magi mari now
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going to bed now even though i want to keep tagging
goodnight!
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DAMN I MISREAD THAT wait
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his farming destiny even follows him in rp
is it a blessing or a curse
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I DIDN'T SEE THIS I'M SORRY.
DON'T WORRY i was in conference exhaustion mode
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i'll probably be slow until sunday heads up XD;
No problem, I'm about to do the next leg of conference hell
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lmao sorry about the iliad assumption I CAN CHANGE THAT IF YOU WANT
NOPE IT'S PERFECT
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you know it'd be terrible if they bonded after the Fz event
fff i was thinking he summons lil' alexander first
this sounds great double the hot waver mess of emotions
the role reversal is always amusing because he looks up waver
yup and waver's just so conflicted bc lbr he definitely has a terrible crush on iskandar
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should we timeskip after alexander is summoned, roman give him strong coffee and talk about aliens
aliens why did it have to be aliens. |D sounds good!
and we can move this!
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