There is a part of Lord El-Melloi II that wonders how wise it is to have a burning ember in a green house, but the rest of him dismisses the concern outright. There are Heroic Spirits everywhere. A fire would be a non-issue, and he has never been stupid enough to ash fall anywhere that could catch flame.
His eyes linger as they enter the green house, taking the place in. His pale skin was enough to say that being outdoors was never a great priority, but between this and the rest of Chaldea, the need for it was obvious. God willing, Lord El-Melloi II could use any downtime in Chaldea to work through a backlog of video games, but he knew how chaotic Grail Wars were. A proper Grand Order would not allow for such a thing.
"It's very well kept," he said, taking a seat. Looking up at Roman, Lord El-Melloi II let out a dersive snort. He missed the point
"I wouldn't wish either on you. The purpose of the reminder was that I can see you do have the abilities, and denying that fact around me is utterly pointless. It borders on annoying."
The green area still an artificially controlled environment that would detect the forgotten embers, nonetheless Roman trusts that El Melloi wouldn't be careless to let that happen. He sits down and slowly stretches his atrophied limbs. He's spent too many days locked up in that control room, and it shows.
"Ah, I see I see, that must be how you realized my potential as video game player," Roman points out in other to move the topic from any serious abilities and to make him feel at ease. "I've practiced, you know, even if it's expensive to ship new releases to our location."
"...Honestly," Lord El-Melloi II began, a little discomfort in his voice. "No. I was initially very annoyed that my day was interrupted and hoped that I'd find a way to occupy you while I got things done."
The embarrassment was clear enough. "But if you've practiced, then we need to examine that together when you're not in that control room."
Something said that Roman out of the control room was a rare occurrence, but the gesture was far more important than the act itself. Either way, Lord El-Melloi II was aware that topics had shifted, and he glanced over Roman's entire person before clicking his tongue. He understood not wanting the position that one had.
"I thought so," Roman answers automatically with a small smile and unconcealed amusement, "Don't worry, I remember being excitable during those days. I would probably annoy myself now." He has a lot of patience to spare in order to keep Chaldea running as it does. He takes his self-depreciation with good humor.
When he offers to play with him (he's no fool to not recognize a poorly worded excuse), his eyes widen. He's never expected him to actually want to spend time with him willingly. "Really?" he utters more startled than he has wanted to show.
His next question is hard to face. "I'm a chicken, so it's natural that I want to run away and hide," he admits openly. That is the only thing he can be honest with everyone. "I didn't think I'd had to become the leader here, it's..." Stressing, familiar, he wants to meet expectations, but he's so afraid he is losing himself he if becomes the leader they need him to be. He can't tell Waver this. He pushes a strand of his hair anxiously. "You think I have the potential," he wonders aloud, and shows he's paid attention to his observation, "But not everything is a natural talent, Lord El Melloi II."
It's really hard for him to concede he's probably not a bad choice to be the acting Director, nonetheless, what makes him miserable isn't administrating but facing up with choices that ultimately upset people.
"Perhaps. But I enjoyed the day in the end. It was a nice and much needed break, and I continue to be astounded that none of my students appeared to ruin it."
The words left Lord El-Melloi II's mouth a little too quickly, and they sent him into a stunned silence. Everything was a reminder that he didn't know their status beyond Chaldea's walls, and that was still a source of anger. Anger that had just abated moments before.
He was angry. But it was harder to direct it at Roman now, at least, harder to do it and not come off as the horrible nineteen year old brat he hated. He wouldn't inflict that on anyone.
He managed to nod in confirmation to Roman's really?, because that was something to focus on. Lord El-Melloi shifted in his seat, eyes on Roman and the small laurel tree just behind him. There. Focus.
"It isn't a matter of think," he corrected with what was for him a normal degree of frankness. "You've already demonstrated it. There are also trite quotations about those who are best suited for power usually shy away from it, but as I said, they're trite. So I'll say this instead: there is nothing I loathe more than my status in Clock Tower because it invites unwanted and undesired attention. I would never compare myself to poultry," just slaughter it to summon Alexander the Great, "But I do understand the impulse."
He's astonished for a second. All these years, after looking back to his previous behavior, he's assumed he had annoyed him that day. He's almost embarrassed to face his misunderstanding. But he hasn't contacted them again, despite his invitation to Chaldea, what else he's supposed to assume?
Does this mean I made a new friend? he thinks, musing about that, something exciting but also scary after he lost his two closest friends.
"I wouldn't say no to you if you want to play," he finally says, grinning from ear to ear. "I don't know how my schedule will get, but you're also welcome to borrow my console if I can't make it in time." There is also a recreation room, but he knows Lord El Melloi II enjoys his privacy to share it with the staff, human or Servant alike.
Talking about this lifts his spirits a little, even if the next serious topic is hard to approach, he gains a bit more of courage. He quiets about having the experience to draw about leadership and proper administration, nonetheless, he appreciates his attempt to reassure him (is that what he's doing?). "The Clock Tower needs people like you, Lord El Melloi II," he says with a firmer voice. It's his turn, he supposes, so he draws a little breath. "Magi need to be reminded they are stripped from common decency and ethics just because of the craft they practice." That's just a fabrication they make for themselves as if trying to live apart from the rest of society, Roman thinks. "I get it. Every close circle of researchers after reaching certain notoriety and wealth, close off, but you guys are still human."
Roman's assumption of being annoying wouldn't be inaccurate. But had Lord El-Melloi II gotten a whiff of what Chaldea was about earlier, he might have seen the whole enterprise as...well, something to be more alarmed about. It was better that he lived in ignorance until being summoned by far greater forces.
"The less I have to deal with anyone else asking what I'm doing, the better," he said in response to Roman's offer. Privacy was important, keeping Lord El-Melloi II's patience in tact was even more important. Chaldea invited all personalities, and clash was inevitable.
Watching Roman's demeanor shift into seriousness again, it was hard for Lord El-Melloi II to not feel that Roman was far better at leadership and insight than he liked to let on. It was a hard decision to fault Roman for, and wherever the ability came from, Lord El-Melloi II was not about to ask. The origin was inevitably personal and not something to be shared lightly.
"Everything you said is a basic fact that everyone loves to ignore. There should be more than one person around saying something that obvious."
Chaldea's darkest secrets have been kept confidential and even from Roman's knowledge. It's not that Marisbilly hasn't trusted him, he hoped, but probably because he didn't want to ruin their friendship. The demi Servant experiment started years before they met. He won't condone his actions, regardless.
"I thought you might prefer that," he says, nodding. He also doesn't know how he'll adjust. He is neither human anymore nor he is a full Heroic Spirit. Maybe Mashu will be of help to guide him. It occurs to him that he has no idea if he knows how to wield Zhuge Liang's power. Or how is affecting his soul, he realizes in concern. He'll have Leonardo see him immediately if he agrees.
"What about your students? Don't they share your views?"
"I suppose that on that front, I'm not exactly subtle, am I?" The question was light, even if Lord El-Melloi II's tone remained deadly serious. He couldn't force any levity at the moment, even if it was just making a crappy joke. Anger was beginning to give way to exhaustion.
Not that he'd fall asleep in an instant. The quiet of a bedroom would let him ponder the same questions as Roman about being...this abomination. What it meant to have these powers, and what it might mean on a soul level.
"It only matters if others decide to listen to them and observe their work with respect."
"I understand all of us to have different boundaries," Roman just says jovially. He's outwardly social but he only keeps a few close friendships. It's just easier to deal with people if you don't upset them. "I don't know if my taste of game aligns to works, though, but I'm sure there must be something you can play."
This is a man with Pretty Idol School Project series as his favorites.
That sounds like they have troubles. Maybe if they could sponsor... Marie surely will listen, right? But talking about them will just make waver and he concern about what's out their reach. "You'll make sure of it when you get back."
He'll find a way to separate him of the Heroic Spirit if that causes him future trouble.
Boundaries? Those seemed to be growing thinner and thinner, if current body circumstances were anything to go on. The word prompted a thin, wry smile from Lord El-Melloi II before he gave any comment on what selection there may (or may not) be.
"Believe me when I say that if this situation endures for any extended amount of time, I may simply play my way through the entire catalogue."
He'd be hyper critical, as was only natural for Lord El-Melloi II, but every game would be gone through. There would simply be no way to mail comment cards out to the game designers to give them feedback. Not if what Roman said was true.
"Assuming that this entire mess doesn't kill me first. That possibility shouldn't be discounted."
Being granted the powers of a Heroic Spirit or no, Lord El-Melloi II was used to certain safeguards. Gray not being present to protect him was the biggest worry of all. The teenager he had met years ago had since grown into a twenty-something who at this rate might well be his apprentice for life. Partly to learn, but partly to keep as his bodyguard, protector, and (in all honesty) Reines buffer.
He forgot about the 'fusion' (which he hadn't analyzed yet how it worked). This makes his expression deflate slightly. Zhuge Liang, one of the legendary strategists from China, and a Heroic Spirit who surely doesn't sound like a busybody either, it must be uncomfortable for both parties. He still doesn't understand why he had taken a human host.
"I hope it'll be enough to keep your mind distracted until we find a solution."
It isn't like he could return his games to the developers! And what kind of man would hate cute cheerful idols with high pitched yet addictive pop songs?
"T-That won't happen!" Roman quickly interjects, after a passing distraction of wondering if he should water the garden now or wait until he's alone. He coughs, clearing his throat to continue his explanation. " Lord El Melloi II, when I said to join the Master in a mission, I meant to provide strategic insight from the control room!" He's not going to dispatch him to the battlefield without even knowing if he can fight or no, and certainly not without his consent.
"I need Leonardo to run some tests to try to, um, measure your current vitals. I could offer a medical check-up too, but I think is going to be useless."
The question was asked with a level of seriousness, like asking after particular lab results. It was important information, especially since once the library was completed (and oh, it would be completed), there was a high chance that Lord El-Melloi II would be very, very bored. His present demeanor already made it clear that he wasn't inclined to get along with others quickly either, meaning bonding with other Heroic Spirits would be, in light terms, an adventure of sorts.
"Roman, be realistic," he continued, gesturing with his free hand towards the cigar. "Discount the battlefield. I could get a surprise heart attack or some other natural occurrance could pick me off. As you've said, this is a unique situation. I am still flesh and blood, and heir to all that entails. I wheeze after running for just a minute or two."
That was a fact that always made Gray worry. She'd be worried now too, especially since Roman's last few words made him sound closer to some kind of horrifying mage experiment. That this one was accidental was...well, it wasn't clear if that made things better or worse.
"Given that you don't have a baseline for my normal, I'd agree about that being useless. What tests are you intending to run?"
"I-I haven't run an inventory of the games, but surely over twenty," he estimates. Olgamarie certainly didn't approve a budget for those. He's also only played a few matches of chess and cards with both Lev and Marisbilly in the past. "We have a wide movie collection, though." Mostly because the late Chaldea director has wanted to spoil him.
"Are you certain you're flesh and blood?" Roman wonders, thinking about the implications of a Heroic Spirit merging with a living human like that. Mashu is different, she's been cruelly made for such purpose. "I'd like Da Vinci to confirm in case your body isn't another materialization if you don't mind." It'll also help to relieve him he won't endure lasting injuries.
Perhaps he chose his words poorly, sometimes he does that. This, and his ability to utter uncalled commentary in the worst circumstances. It's a gift.
"Uh, w-well, I mean to measure your strength and scan your body, for example -- Things like that I guess?" Romani says unsure of what they could do. Leonardo can think about it. He hopes she wouldn't try anything flashy "Even if we don't have your normal file, if you can weight or run faster than the average without reinforcing your body, it's an indication."
"Only twenty?" There was no denying the disappointment in his voice, but Lord El-Melloi II nodded after he thought about it for a moment. "Well they're more expensive than DVDs, so that's understandable. But with a collection that wide...jeez, are you doing stuff like Servant movie night?" He hoped not. That made Chaldea sound like weird Servant summer camp.
Roman's question did give Lord El-Melloi II pause, and there was a fraction of real horror that he was already that far removed from even being a mage. It went away quickly, and Lord El-Melloi II accepted that if Roman saw anything, well. Roman already had seen Lord El-Melloi II's inital reaction. The more slower realizations mustn't be that big a surprise.
"...I will be honest, if I can run at all, I'd advise you consider it a marked improvement from what qualifies as a baseline." Never one to avoid admitting most weaknesses, Lord El-Melloi II felt comfortable divulging that much. Still, he was now far quieter than before, the question of how much was truly him in his body now genuinely starting to weight.
He paused before asking his next question. "In your own estimation, how do you believe this will impact general health in the long run? Assuming nothing untowards happens between now and the completion of this Grand Order."
"Oh, well. That's just an estimate without adding my collection!" Roman amends lightly, looking deflated after dashing his acquaintances' hope for variety. Speaking of Servants-- He has an idea. "We have summoned Heroic Spirits who certainly could work in better games during their time off. I'm sure Mr. Tesla and Mr. Edison would look forward that challenge."
His nervous smile fades away, and he becomes stone serious "You're not our first 'hybrid' case," he admits reluctantly, averting his gaze. While he hasn't taken part in the experiments and they began years before his summon, he still feels the weight of those deaths on his shoulders. How he could have been so ignorant while those kids suffered in secret? "Did you met Mash yet?" his voice cracks a little. "Mash Kyrielight was subject of experimentation to achieve that," he looks down, feeling his voice strain with impotence and his fist close in anger. "Her body was designed from birth for this purpose. When I found out about her existence, she-" He stops he doesn't want to talk about this. It's even surprising he's started to be open of this topic with someone who isn't Leonardo, not even Ritsuka Fujimaru knows yet. He swallows hard, he has to finish this because is something related to his present predicament. "She wasn't the only one, but I wasn't fast enough to save them."
He can't meet his gaze, he can't think about them now that the weight of the world and time is the only thing he should focus on. As much it goes against his principles, he also understands what drove Marisbilly to this ruthless path. The thing he's doing right now with Lord El Melloi II, negotiating and bargaining, is a luxury that they don't have during a true crisis and the fate of everything rests on the Master candidates, with all their fragility, and the Servants cooperation. A group of trained and loyal soldiers capable of both roles simultaneously is the safer option.
But he's not trying to talk about the skeletons in the closet, the real reason why he brings this up.
"If it had been easy to combine a living person with a Servant," he looks at him, after finding courage again. "I believe that this project wouldn't have existed in the first place. It's just conjecture, but," he reaches out just to touch his overcoat sleeve, "I don't think you're in your flesh and blood body, instead it must be a materialization. So what was combined with Zhuge Liang was your spirit." Thus, he speculates, his body wouldn't suffer any ill effect like a reduced lifespan when this is over.
"...Wait," he said, the words Edison and Tesla causing him to flinch. "You thought that having those two in the same place was a good idea? That era of history isn't my strong suit, but my God."
As Roman continued to speak though, to explain Mash's situation, Lord El-Melloi II's face hardened into something far angrier and far more disgusted with Chaldea as an operation. Mages experimented on people from time to time, and it was always something that he considered unacceptable. Ethics were rarely something that factored into the discussions of mages, but still. It was a personal line, and that Chaldea billed itself as it did, he was even angrier than he was upon initial summons.
"If I had known those types of experiments were being conducted by Chaldea's staff, I would have used everything in my power at Clock Tower to shut this place down," Lord El-Melloi II said frankly. He was not going to hide how much he hated this new piece of information even if Roman made it clear he shared the anger and discomfort with such work. "Nothing, not even a Grand Order, makes such experiments acceptable."
It was beyond the inhumanity demanded of mages. And Roman seemed to know that.
He tried not to flinch at the sudden touch to his coat sleeve. "Such a project should not be necessary if grail summons work properly. As for Zhuge Liang, I personally remain unsure why this was the route he took. For the few seconds we spoke, he proved himself to be some other variation of inhuman. As for what was entwined, I can't say I have had enough time to sit and parse it all out."
He chuckles softly at his first reaction, giving a dismissive hand wave. "A healthy rivalry helps to keeps things lively!" he points out, grinning. "Besides if any of them get out hand Madam Blavatsky is there to scold them." They have it under control.
He doesn't flinch when Waver angrily denounces Chaldea. He expected that; he'd have been disappointed if he didn't react. In fact, there might be a flicker in his gaze that looks at Waver less of the bumbling doctor and reluctant acting director, it only lasts a few seconds, but he looks at him as a proud father witness a son in his graduation day: brimming in pride.
"To my understanding, the Fate system became operational years after that project began," he explains, not trying to condone those actions but to make a sense in the chronology. But they still continued in secret. "I don't want Mash to be treated as anything else but a human being, so please, don't bring this up to her unless is to discuss your present circumstances." He's asking, but the firm tone of voice leaves little room to argue. "Please." She doesn't deserve that.
He nods, acknowledging what he just said. "I think we should start to measure your Strength, Agility, and Stamina." Using weightlifting for example, he could certainly tell he's stronger than the norm. "Leonardo can scan your body and determine if it's made of flesh or magical energy." He's got no magic circuits anymore, so he cannot discern that. As for the Master, it's a novice who probably can't say.
"Are you honestly summoning servants to triage pointless fights from rivals?" Lord El-Melloi II asked, totally deadpan. He didn't sound impressed though - just tired. The same way he got around his students, if he was given a moment to reflect on the matter.
Thankfully, he didn't. But he did catch Roman's weird glance which did beg the question of why he was being fixed with such a look. Roman wasn't a mentor, or a friend or...really any relation at all, outside of new boss as of a few hours ago. It suggested something far deeper and Lord El-Melloi II didn't care for it at all. It made him nervous.
"Give me some credit," Lord El-Melloi II continued. "I wouldn't be stupid enough to mention it, or even think it appropriate conversation outside of the singular one we are having now. The only thing I want clarification on is if she is aware of the circumstances herself, or have you allowed her ignorance of the matter?"
It was an important ethical matter, as far as Lord El-Melloi II was concerned, one that spoke more about the individual than the circumstance. Moreover, it was a question that he didn't have an answer to - telling someone that information was important, but it could shatter a world.
Quietly, he let out a tired sigh at being tested himself. "Understood. Would you oppose postponing the matter until tomorrow?"
"O-Of course not!" Roman's wounded by that accusation, he pouts when he thought so poorly of him. "They are all helping to save the world, you know." There are more Servants in Chaldea than living staff too which makes it difficult to keep up. He deflates a little after the scolding, his shoulder sag and he gives a dramatic sigh. "This is a Grand Order, after all."
It's something that rarely will come up again. There are times he recalls he was the forefather of all magi, not that he'll take responsibility for their present mess.
He nods, "She knows her origins," he confirms but doesn't talk about what she doesn't know. At least as far as Roman's aware. Her limited lifespan, something he's tried to look into without success. He is saddened by this, but can't bring herself to pity the girl, because pity is dehumanizing who she is. "I met her four years ago and I raised her as well as I could," he confirms, looking down, scratching the back of his head. Maybe it's not good enough. "She's come a long way since then."
He's very proud of Mash. That fatherly smile returns to his lips, but now is directed to someone else, for another reason.
"Oh, well, sure?" he isn't certain, but come to think about it, "You must be tired." Maybe not his body but this must have been emotionally exhausting. "I understand the change must have been shocking, so we can postpone it until you're ready."
"I was going to say that if it was intentional, it's rather clever." As much as Lord El-Melloi II wanted to actually say it was a foolish, when he sat and thought it over for two seconds, there was strategy to it. "It allows for Servants to deal with other Servants, preventing the staff from becoming babysitters."
Sit with the praise, Roman. If only magi were so easily dealt with. But Lord El-Melloi II could only dream.
"I see," he said, before falling silent for a long moment. It was one way to answer the ethical conundrum, and that Roman took on a parenting roll said a lot about where that particular relationship stood. It was something Lord El-Melloi II can relate to. Gray's own circumstances were different, as was the role she played in Lord El-Melloi II's life (he isn't her parent! was the lie he told himself), but the comparison was still there. "I'm sure I will see some of you in her when work begins in earnest tomorrow."
It was hard to mistake that parental pride, that was for sure.
"Mmm," he managed at the word tired. The whole rage explosion had been sustained, and exhaustion was now kicking in. "You realize that the words until you're ready are something I could abuse to postpone the matter indefinitely, correct?"
"Oh, really?" Roman asks dumbfounded. He's clearly not believing his ears, someone is actually praising him! While it makes him happy, the self-loathing part of him thinks he's unworthy of that. "We're short of staff," he admits sheepishly, "If humanity's best legends cannot fix a good meal and do laundry, we'll be in trouble."
Maybe he'll bask on the praise a bit, he probably needs it more than he's willing to admit.
"Ah, no! She's too good! But-" He sighs and scratches the back of his head, "I sort of-- let my fascination for Japanese culture known in her presence, so she's decided to learn something about that." The senpai thing, he had to run his mouth when she was younger. Ahh well, as long she's happy!
The doctor chuckles, giving him an amused look. "I purposefully worded it so you can abuse it," he admits. He knows this must be freaking him out, and really unless there's an imminent mission that needs him, he'll rather him to take his time. Besides, they struck a deal earlier. The fastest he gets this done, the fastest he gets authorization to travel to London.
And so it had gone for a few more minutes in the garden, until Lord El-Melloi II finally admitted how truly exhausted he felt. Not in so many words, of course, but in that polite making excuses sort of way that always allowed him to shirk duties at Clock Tower.
Tests came soon after to try and comprehend what the hell Zhuge Liang had done upon being summoned, and then it was time to begin the real work in earnest. It would be a lie for Lord El-Melloi II to say he was relieved to be working (he was not. At all. Whatsoever.) but it kept him apart from the other Servants who...
...who he had mixed feelings about. There were some he got along with fine, others who ignored him and vice versa, and there was the third category which to be polite, he simply called annoying. That was an understatement, there were some that nearly equaled Flat, and all the avoidance techniques in the world failed. Chaldea was, in the end, a small place. There were only so many places one could go to.
At first, staying in the control room was enough. The combination of Lord El-Melloi II and Zhuge Liang made for an effective team, making quick suggestions when it seemed like objectives were at stake. But in doing so, an unspoken question was uncovered: how much more effective could this Caster be in the field?
Very.
Very and as Lord El-Melloi II was learning upon his return, the word also extended to his own state of being. He was bone tired physically, and while mentally Lord El-Melloi II considered himself to be in better shape, it wasn't by much. As successful as the mission was, the aftermath wasn't sustainable.
The question of sustainability was what brought him to Roman two days later (there had been a lot of sleeping to take care of first.)
"Roman...?" he asked quietly, entering the medical bay.
yeah I know he's not supposed to be talking with merlin in this au but I can't help but sneak this
Roman was supervising that mission (as he always did). He could tell something weighted in Lord El-Melloi's mind. The familiar bitter tang of being unable to keep up or not being good enough, maybe. He was well acquaintanced with that feeling of inadequacy himself.
Still, while he expected him in his consultation room soon, he hadn't had guessed he would come the night just after he stripped to wear his Magi★Mari pink t-shirt and pair cotton slippers and was about to sit down and read the cutest idol's updates. He couldn't even get the chance to say 'hold on just a second' when he made himself him.
Oh, come on!
Roman stares at the Pseudo-Servant for a full minute, wishing for the earth to open beneath his feet and swallow him. After that awkward moment passes, Roman pretends nothing is wrong and gestures him to take the empty seat in front of him.
For a moment, Lord El-Melloi II had no words. Roman wasn't the most formal person he had ever met, but neither was he the most casual. This was the equivalent of Flat showing up at his own apartment, only to catch the professor in an Admirable Conquest t-shirt and boxes and not much else.
It was that thought that propelled him forward, how he'd want to handle the situation, that made Lord El-Melloi II utterly gloss over what he was seeing.
"I need an opinion on a matter related to my role going forward."
Formal and to the point. No yelling about underwear or any such nonsense. (God, Lord El-Melloi II hoped Roman had on underwear)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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His eyes linger as they enter the green house, taking the place in. His pale skin was enough to say that being outdoors was never a great priority, but between this and the rest of Chaldea, the need for it was obvious. God willing, Lord El-Melloi II could use any downtime in Chaldea to work through a backlog of video games, but he knew how chaotic Grail Wars were. A proper Grand Order would not allow for such a thing.
"It's very well kept," he said, taking a seat. Looking up at Roman, Lord El-Melloi II let out a dersive snort. He missed the point
"I wouldn't wish either on you. The purpose of the reminder was that I can see you do have the abilities, and denying that fact around me is utterly pointless. It borders on annoying."
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"Ah, I see I see, that must be how you realized my potential as video game player," Roman points out in other to move the topic from any serious abilities and to make him feel at ease. "I've practiced, you know, even if it's expensive to ship new releases to our location."
Most mailing companies don't cover Antarctica.
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The embarrassment was clear enough. "But if you've practiced, then we need to examine that together when you're not in that control room."
Something said that Roman out of the control room was a rare occurrence, but the gesture was far more important than the act itself. Either way, Lord El-Melloi II was aware that topics had shifted, and he glanced over Roman's entire person before clicking his tongue. He understood not wanting the position that one had.
"You'd welcome a chance to step down, huh?"
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When he offers to play with him (he's no fool to not recognize a poorly worded excuse), his eyes widen. He's never expected him to actually want to spend time with him willingly. "Really?" he utters more startled than he has wanted to show.
His next question is hard to face. "I'm a chicken, so it's natural that I want to run away and hide," he admits openly. That is the only thing he can be honest with everyone. "I didn't think I'd had to become the leader here, it's..." Stressing, familiar, he wants to meet expectations, but he's so afraid he is losing himself he if becomes the leader they need him to be. He can't tell Waver this. He pushes a strand of his hair anxiously. "You think I have the potential," he wonders aloud, and shows he's paid attention to his observation, "But not everything is a natural talent, Lord El Melloi II."
It's really hard for him to concede he's probably not a bad choice to be the acting Director, nonetheless, what makes him miserable isn't administrating but facing up with choices that ultimately upset people.
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The words left Lord El-Melloi II's mouth a little too quickly, and they sent him into a stunned silence. Everything was a reminder that he didn't know their status beyond Chaldea's walls, and that was still a source of anger. Anger that had just abated moments before.
He was angry. But it was harder to direct it at Roman now, at least, harder to do it and not come off as the horrible nineteen year old brat he hated. He wouldn't inflict that on anyone.
He managed to nod in confirmation to Roman's really?, because that was something to focus on. Lord El-Melloi shifted in his seat, eyes on Roman and the small laurel tree just behind him. There. Focus.
"It isn't a matter of think," he corrected with what was for him a normal degree of frankness. "You've already demonstrated it. There are also trite quotations about those who are best suited for power usually shy away from it, but as I said, they're trite. So I'll say this instead: there is nothing I loathe more than my status in Clock Tower because it invites unwanted and undesired attention. I would never compare myself to poultry," just slaughter it to summon Alexander the Great, "But I do understand the impulse."
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Does this mean I made a new friend? he thinks, musing about that, something exciting but also scary after he lost his two closest friends.
"I wouldn't say no to you if you want to play," he finally says, grinning from ear to ear. "I don't know how my schedule will get, but you're also welcome to borrow my console if I can't make it in time." There is also a recreation room, but he knows Lord El Melloi II enjoys his privacy to share it with the staff, human or Servant alike.
Talking about this lifts his spirits a little, even if the next serious topic is hard to approach, he gains a bit more of courage. He quiets about having the experience to draw about leadership and proper administration, nonetheless, he appreciates his attempt to reassure him (is that what he's doing?). "The Clock Tower needs people like you, Lord El Melloi II," he says with a firmer voice. It's his turn, he supposes, so he draws a little breath. "Magi need to be reminded they are stripped from common decency and ethics just because of the craft they practice." That's just a fabrication they make for themselves as if trying to live apart from the rest of society, Roman thinks. "I get it. Every close circle of researchers after reaching certain notoriety and wealth, close off, but you guys are still human."
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"The less I have to deal with anyone else asking what I'm doing, the better," he said in response to Roman's offer. Privacy was important, keeping Lord El-Melloi II's patience in tact was even more important. Chaldea invited all personalities, and clash was inevitable.
Watching Roman's demeanor shift into seriousness again, it was hard for Lord El-Melloi II to not feel that Roman was far better at leadership and insight than he liked to let on. It was a hard decision to fault Roman for, and wherever the ability came from, Lord El-Melloi II was not about to ask. The origin was inevitably personal and not something to be shared lightly.
"Everything you said is a basic fact that everyone loves to ignore. There should be more than one person around saying something that obvious."
thanks lost room for a chronology!
"I thought you might prefer that," he says, nodding. He also doesn't know how he'll adjust. He is neither human anymore nor he is a full Heroic Spirit. Maybe Mashu will be of help to guide him. It occurs to him that he has no idea if he knows how to wield Zhuge Liang's power. Or how is affecting his soul, he realizes in concern. He'll have Leonardo see him immediately if he agrees.
"What about your students? Don't they share your views?"
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Not that he'd fall asleep in an instant. The quiet of a bedroom would let him ponder the same questions as Roman about being...this abomination. What it meant to have these powers, and what it might mean on a soul level.
"It only matters if others decide to listen to them and observe their work with respect."
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This is a man with Pretty Idol School Project series as his favorites.
That sounds like they have troubles. Maybe if they could sponsor... Marie surely will listen, right? But talking about them will just make waver and he concern about what's out their reach. "You'll make sure of it when you get back."
He'll find a way to separate him of the Heroic Spirit if that causes him future trouble.
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"Believe me when I say that if this situation endures for any extended amount of time, I may simply play my way through the entire catalogue."
He'd be hyper critical, as was only natural for Lord El-Melloi II, but every game would be gone through. There would simply be no way to mail comment cards out to the game designers to give them feedback. Not if what Roman said was true.
"Assuming that this entire mess doesn't kill me first. That possibility shouldn't be discounted."
Being granted the powers of a Heroic Spirit or no, Lord El-Melloi II was used to certain safeguards. Gray not being present to protect him was the biggest worry of all. The teenager he had met years ago had since grown into a twenty-something who at this rate might well be his apprentice for life. Partly to learn, but partly to keep as his bodyguard, protector, and (in all honesty) Reines buffer.
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"I hope it'll be enough to keep your mind distracted until we find a solution."
It isn't like he could return his games to the developers! And what kind of man would hate cute cheerful idols with high pitched yet addictive pop songs?
"T-That won't happen!" Roman quickly interjects, after a passing distraction of wondering if he should water the garden now or wait until he's alone. He coughs, clearing his throat to continue his explanation. " Lord El Melloi II, when I said to join the Master in a mission, I meant to provide strategic insight from the control room!" He's not going to dispatch him to the battlefield without even knowing if he can fight or no, and certainly not without his consent.
"I need Leonardo to run some tests to try to, um, measure your current vitals. I could offer a medical check-up too, but I think is going to be useless."
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The question was asked with a level of seriousness, like asking after particular lab results. It was important information, especially since once the library was completed (and oh, it would be completed), there was a high chance that Lord El-Melloi II would be very, very bored. His present demeanor already made it clear that he wasn't inclined to get along with others quickly either, meaning bonding with other Heroic Spirits would be, in light terms, an adventure of sorts.
"Roman, be realistic," he continued, gesturing with his free hand towards the cigar. "Discount the battlefield. I could get a surprise heart attack or some other natural occurrance could pick me off. As you've said, this is a unique situation. I am still flesh and blood, and heir to all that entails. I wheeze after running for just a minute or two."
That was a fact that always made Gray worry. She'd be worried now too, especially since Roman's last few words made him sound closer to some kind of horrifying mage experiment. That this one was accidental was...well, it wasn't clear if that made things better or worse.
"Given that you don't have a baseline for my normal, I'd agree about that being useless. What tests are you intending to run?"
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"Are you certain you're flesh and blood?" Roman wonders, thinking about the implications of a Heroic Spirit merging with a living human like that. Mashu is different, she's been cruelly made for such purpose. "I'd like Da Vinci to confirm in case your body isn't another materialization if you don't mind." It'll also help to relieve him he won't endure lasting injuries.
Perhaps he chose his words poorly, sometimes he does that. This, and his ability to utter uncalled commentary in the worst circumstances. It's a gift.
"Uh, w-well, I mean to measure your strength and scan your body, for example -- Things like that I guess?" Romani says unsure of what they could do. Leonardo can think about it. He hopes she wouldn't try anything flashy "Even if we don't have your normal file, if you can weight or run faster than the average without reinforcing your body, it's an indication."
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Roman's question did give Lord El-Melloi II pause, and there was a fraction of real horror that he was already that far removed from even being a mage. It went away quickly, and Lord El-Melloi II accepted that if Roman saw anything, well. Roman already had seen Lord El-Melloi II's inital reaction. The more slower realizations mustn't be that big a surprise.
"...I will be honest, if I can run at all, I'd advise you consider it a marked improvement from what qualifies as a baseline." Never one to avoid admitting most weaknesses, Lord El-Melloi II felt comfortable divulging that much. Still, he was now far quieter than before, the question of how much was truly him in his body now genuinely starting to weight.
He paused before asking his next question. "In your own estimation, how do you believe this will impact general health in the long run? Assuming nothing untowards happens between now and the completion of this Grand Order."
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His nervous smile fades away, and he becomes stone serious "You're not our first 'hybrid' case," he admits reluctantly, averting his gaze. While he hasn't taken part in the experiments and they began years before his summon, he still feels the weight of those deaths on his shoulders. How he could have been so ignorant while those kids suffered in secret? "Did you met Mash yet?" his voice cracks a little. "Mash Kyrielight was subject of experimentation to achieve that," he looks down, feeling his voice strain with impotence and his fist close in anger. "Her body was designed from birth for this purpose. When I found out about her existence, she-" He stops he doesn't want to talk about this. It's even surprising he's started to be open of this topic with someone who isn't Leonardo, not even Ritsuka Fujimaru knows yet. He swallows hard, he has to finish this because is something related to his present predicament. "She wasn't the only one, but I wasn't fast enough to save them."
He can't meet his gaze, he can't think about them now that the weight of the world and time is the only thing he should focus on. As much it goes against his principles, he also understands what drove Marisbilly to this ruthless path. The thing he's doing right now with Lord El Melloi II, negotiating and bargaining, is a luxury that they don't have during a true crisis and the fate of everything rests on the Master candidates, with all their fragility, and the Servants cooperation. A group of trained and loyal soldiers capable of both roles simultaneously is the safer option.
But he's not trying to talk about the skeletons in the closet, the real reason why he brings this up.
"If it had been easy to combine a living person with a Servant," he looks at him, after finding courage again. "I believe that this project wouldn't have existed in the first place. It's just conjecture, but," he reaches out just to touch his overcoat sleeve, "I don't think you're in your flesh and blood body, instead it must be a materialization. So what was combined with Zhuge Liang was your spirit." Thus, he speculates, his body wouldn't suffer any ill effect like a reduced lifespan when this is over.
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As Roman continued to speak though, to explain Mash's situation, Lord El-Melloi II's face hardened into something far angrier and far more disgusted with Chaldea as an operation. Mages experimented on people from time to time, and it was always something that he considered unacceptable. Ethics were rarely something that factored into the discussions of mages, but still. It was a personal line, and that Chaldea billed itself as it did, he was even angrier than he was upon initial summons.
"If I had known those types of experiments were being conducted by Chaldea's staff, I would have used everything in my power at Clock Tower to shut this place down," Lord El-Melloi II said frankly. He was not going to hide how much he hated this new piece of information even if Roman made it clear he shared the anger and discomfort with such work. "Nothing, not even a Grand Order, makes such experiments acceptable."
It was beyond the inhumanity demanded of mages. And Roman seemed to know that.
He tried not to flinch at the sudden touch to his coat sleeve. "Such a project should not be necessary if grail summons work properly. As for Zhuge Liang, I personally remain unsure why this was the route he took. For the few seconds we spoke, he proved himself to be some other variation of inhuman. As for what was entwined, I can't say I have had enough time to sit and parse it all out."
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He doesn't flinch when Waver angrily denounces Chaldea. He expected that; he'd have been disappointed if he didn't react. In fact, there might be a flicker in his gaze that looks at Waver less of the bumbling doctor and reluctant acting director, it only lasts a few seconds, but he looks at him as a proud father witness a son in his graduation day: brimming in pride.
"To my understanding, the Fate system became operational years after that project began," he explains, not trying to condone those actions but to make a sense in the chronology. But they still continued in secret. "I don't want Mash to be treated as anything else but a human being, so please, don't bring this up to her unless is to discuss your present circumstances." He's asking, but the firm tone of voice leaves little room to argue. "Please." She doesn't deserve that.
He nods, acknowledging what he just said. "I think we should start to measure your Strength, Agility, and Stamina." Using weightlifting for example, he could certainly tell he's stronger than the norm. "Leonardo can scan your body and determine if it's made of flesh or magical energy." He's got no magic circuits anymore, so he cannot discern that. As for the Master, it's a novice who probably can't say.
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Thankfully, he didn't. But he did catch Roman's weird glance which did beg the question of why he was being fixed with such a look. Roman wasn't a mentor, or a friend or...really any relation at all, outside of new boss as of a few hours ago. It suggested something far deeper and Lord El-Melloi II didn't care for it at all. It made him nervous.
"Give me some credit," Lord El-Melloi II continued. "I wouldn't be stupid enough to mention it, or even think it appropriate conversation outside of the singular one we are having now. The only thing I want clarification on is if she is aware of the circumstances herself, or have you allowed her ignorance of the matter?"
It was an important ethical matter, as far as Lord El-Melloi II was concerned, one that spoke more about the individual than the circumstance. Moreover, it was a question that he didn't have an answer to - telling someone that information was important, but it could shatter a world.
Quietly, he let out a tired sigh at being tested himself. "Understood. Would you oppose postponing the matter until tomorrow?"
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It's something that rarely will come up again. There are times he recalls he was the forefather of all magi, not that he'll take responsibility for their present mess.
He nods, "She knows her origins," he confirms but doesn't talk about what she doesn't know. At least as far as Roman's aware. Her limited lifespan, something he's tried to look into without success. He is saddened by this, but can't bring herself to pity the girl, because pity is dehumanizing who she is. "I met her four years ago and I raised her as well as I could," he confirms, looking down, scratching the back of his head. Maybe it's not good enough. "She's come a long way since then."
He's very proud of Mash. That fatherly smile returns to his lips, but now is directed to someone else, for another reason.
"Oh, well, sure?" he isn't certain, but come to think about it, "You must be tired." Maybe not his body but this must have been emotionally exhausting. "I understand the change must have been shocking, so we can postpone it until you're ready."
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Sit with the praise, Roman. If only magi were so easily dealt with. But Lord El-Melloi II could only dream.
"I see," he said, before falling silent for a long moment. It was one way to answer the ethical conundrum, and that Roman took on a parenting roll said a lot about where that particular relationship stood. It was something Lord El-Melloi II can relate to. Gray's own circumstances were different, as was the role she played in Lord El-Melloi II's life (he isn't her parent! was the lie he told himself), but the comparison was still there. "I'm sure I will see some of you in her when work begins in earnest tomorrow."
It was hard to mistake that parental pride, that was for sure.
"Mmm," he managed at the word tired. The whole rage explosion had been sustained, and exhaustion was now kicking in. "You realize that the words until you're ready are something I could abuse to postpone the matter indefinitely, correct?"
we can timeskip?
Maybe he'll bask on the praise a bit, he probably needs it more than he's willing to admit.
"Ah, no! She's too good! But-" He sighs and scratches the back of his head, "I sort of-- let my fascination for Japanese culture known in her presence, so she's decided to learn something about that." The senpai thing, he had to run his mouth when she was younger. Ahh well, as long she's happy!
The doctor chuckles, giving him an amused look. "I purposefully worded it so you can abuse it," he admits. He knows this must be freaking him out, and really unless there's an imminent mission that needs him, he'll rather him to take his time. Besides, they struck a deal earlier. The fastest he gets this done, the fastest he gets authorization to travel to London.
And now we jump to the left
Tests came soon after to try and comprehend what the hell Zhuge Liang had done upon being summoned, and then it was time to begin the real work in earnest. It would be a lie for Lord El-Melloi II to say he was relieved to be working (he was not. At all. Whatsoever.) but it kept him apart from the other Servants who...
...who he had mixed feelings about. There were some he got along with fine, others who ignored him and vice versa, and there was the third category which to be polite, he simply called annoying. That was an understatement, there were some that nearly equaled Flat, and all the avoidance techniques in the world failed. Chaldea was, in the end, a small place. There were only so many places one could go to.
At first, staying in the control room was enough. The combination of Lord El-Melloi II and Zhuge Liang made for an effective team, making quick suggestions when it seemed like objectives were at stake. But in doing so, an unspoken question was uncovered: how much more effective could this Caster be in the field?
Very.
Very and as Lord El-Melloi II was learning upon his return, the word also extended to his own state of being. He was bone tired physically, and while mentally Lord El-Melloi II considered himself to be in better shape, it wasn't by much. As successful as the mission was, the aftermath wasn't sustainable.
The question of sustainability was what brought him to Roman two days later (there had been a lot of sleeping to take care of first.)
"Roman...?" he asked quietly, entering the medical bay.
yeah I know he's not supposed to be talking with merlin in this au but I can't help but sneak this
Still, while he expected him in his consultation room soon, he hadn't had guessed he would come the night just after he stripped to wear his Magi★Mari pink t-shirt and pair cotton slippers and was about to sit down and read the cutest idol's updates. He couldn't even get the chance to say 'hold on just a second' when he made himself him.
Oh, come on!
Roman stares at the Pseudo-Servant for a full minute, wishing for the earth to open beneath his feet and swallow him. After that awkward moment passes, Roman pretends nothing is wrong and gestures him to take the empty seat in front of him.
"Good evening. What can I do for you?"
shhhh no apologies only magi mari now
For a moment, Lord El-Melloi II had no words. Roman wasn't the most formal person he had ever met, but neither was he the most casual. This was the equivalent of Flat showing up at his own apartment, only to catch the professor in an Admirable Conquest t-shirt and boxes and not much else.
It was that thought that propelled him forward, how he'd want to handle the situation, that made Lord El-Melloi II utterly gloss over what he was seeing.
"I need an opinion on a matter related to my role going forward."
Formal and to the point. No yelling about underwear or any such nonsense. (God, Lord El-Melloi II hoped Roman had on underwear)
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going to bed now even though i want to keep tagging
goodnight!
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DAMN I MISREAD THAT wait
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his farming destiny even follows him in rp
is it a blessing or a curse
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I DIDN'T SEE THIS I'M SORRY.
DON'T WORRY i was in conference exhaustion mode
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i'll probably be slow until sunday heads up XD;
No problem, I'm about to do the next leg of conference hell
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lmao sorry about the iliad assumption I CAN CHANGE THAT IF YOU WANT
NOPE IT'S PERFECT
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you know it'd be terrible if they bonded after the Fz event
fff i was thinking he summons lil' alexander first
this sounds great double the hot waver mess of emotions
the role reversal is always amusing because he looks up waver
yup and waver's just so conflicted bc lbr he definitely has a terrible crush on iskandar
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should we timeskip after alexander is summoned, roman give him strong coffee and talk about aliens
aliens why did it have to be aliens. |D sounds good!
and we can move this!
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