It was as if Emiya's real secret calling was to be the Ultimate House Husband, and somehow fate had waylaid such a noble goal. One of the great tradgies never written. Never to be written, because Emiya wouldn't appreciate it at all.
"It needs seatbelts, otherwise you'll get pulled over and there's no way you four and a traffic stop will go well," Lord El-Melloi II said honestly. "I have no comment about the shape."
DaVinci could do much weirder than cats, in truth. But as Roman's mind turned towards Marie (they still didn't know her status, did they?) it was hard not to see the direction his thoughts were going. And so the cake ensued. "Wasn't there a story about him judging the dead at some point? Not in the Epic itself, but as an additional literary tradition? That could be the source."
He had done some research, if only to understand exactly what Lord El-Melloi II had to deal with. Any further speculation did seem to cut off suddenly, as Roman put two and two together with regards to why El-Melloi II had zero desire to spend too much time discussing the golden tyrant. He was glad for it, and not at all surprised by the sudden willingness to accommodate the expressed discomfort. "Just Archer. Er. Him. ...You know what I mean," he said, nearly tripping over the words. If there was any question about what class Gilgamesh had manifested as, it was now very clear.
"Roman, I have learned a few things from having American sitcoms on in the background every so often, and one of them is that a nice young doctor is definitely a catch," he pointed out. "You've aged fine. Any further protests and I'm going to cross a line and flirt with you to prove a point."
But he's finally able to happily fulfill his fate. Here and in Mooncell! A story that has a good ending, in a sense.
"Uh, well, it's actually a flying craft," he explains, facepalming. Yes, like a cat-copter, but he can't bring himself to say that. Da Vinci named it different, but that is the best label really. "It has stripes, Lord El Melloi II. Stripes and a Chesire Cat smile." Nightmare fuel. He has to revoke Leonardo's supposed high sense of aesthetics.
"Ah that is possible," he muses about it, "Although not all stories are real facts. But I wouldn't be surprised if he spent some time in his afterlife." He has to make a stop now just to clarify. "They used to exist, I mean during the Ages of Gods. Realms of the dead where the souls traveled after their bodies died. Death was a lot more relative back then." So the living interacted more often with the dead.
He nods. "And the, uh younger one?" There are two, but some people don't realize it's the same guy because younger Gilgamesh acts very different and hates his older self.
He's got a point, so he has to nod. "I suppose I can't argue with you." He's just used to scare away all the women when he rambles about the net idol, he does it on purpose. "You know you should become an idol fan too," he proposes, "That might help you with your problem." He means his fanclub.
A truth, to be certain. And always to be remembered.
"What the fuck." It wasn't a question at all. A statement, managed along with a long, drawn out groan. "I want to know what the reasoning for this design was. I won't like the answer, and I am aware of that fact, but I want to know." God, he was going to go do that tomorrow morning, first thing. Then spend the entire day in a funk dealing with cursed knowledge.
"I didn't imagine it to be a real fact, just a likely source," he clarified. "But I do follow you. It makes more sense, and fits in with what is known about the Ages of Gods." A time that always sounded like both the best and worst time to be a mage. How might he have fared is a question for never, but...but serving as some kind of court mage to Iskandar could have happened. That was a new thought, and one that did make him happy.
"That one's fine," Lord El-Melloi II continued. "Just the bigger one is...I'd like to continue to avoid him."
Trying to keep with the lightness, a faux look of disappointment crossed over El-Melloi II's face. "I was hoping you'd put up a fight on that case." But...okay, Roman, that's one plan. "If being a shut in playing video games didn't do it, I'm not sure adding idols would do too terribly much."
"It's Leonardo," Roman repeats with a dry, annoyed voice and an eyeroll. As if Da Vinci's name alone should be enough explanation on its own. "Who knows what she's thinking about! She always does what she wants." He huffs and crosses his arms. "I'm not sure if you'll get your answers, she's locked herself to do something wild and new." She gets like this sometimes, and he's used to her antics. It's almost comforting to complain about her.
"The Sumerian underworld was ruled by the goddess Ereshkigal," Roman explains, there are other deities, but that's the major one. "I'm not sure she'll have shared her power. Gilgamesh had a fall out with the gods," he informs him, scratching the back of his head. Oh, this is probably not known, right? "One of the reasons why the Age of Gods weakened was because he rejected them." While he knows Waver's negative feelings rooted for a total understandable experience and is aware of Gilgamesh's narrow views, he also is aware that the golden tyrant wouldn't want the destruction of the Human Order.
He pauses and doesn't know Waver's thoughts. "This Age is better, we have video games now." But he wants to reassure him that he's been fortunate to be born in this era. He'll make sure to not forget to strike Waver off older Gilgamesh's parties.
He shakes his head, "I can't let you go on. What if Magi Mari heard you?!" he shoots a scandalized glance at his laptop. Her website is still open, all right? "Do they know that?" he presses a little. "Or they just know your cold ice-king professor?" No offense, but he's watched enough anime to know that'll be popular with students.
"Look, I will accept I just wanted it to look like a cat. Whatever answer I get will be terrible it's....oh fuck, did she give any indication on what she's got her mind set to?" He grimaced. "Does it involve more cats?" Probably not. Birds now? They'd see the results soon, that much was a certain fact.
Ereshkigal was a mouthful to say, but Lord El-Melloi II nodded along to show he was listening. He knew about the fall out because well, that was the bulk of the Epic's story. "See this is where it's always strange to me how what we know about human history and pre-history with regards to evolution gets along with legend," he said. "And timelines, for that matter." It was always enough to make one's head hurt. "But I feel like that's a talk had with alcohol, not cake."
The point about video games had to be conceded. "We do have those. Better than watching sheep graze." Many things were, come to think of it.
"Roman, maybe she'd finally make a move on you to ensure no one else got to her number one fan," he countered. "...Roman they've definitely seen video game consoles in my office." No, Roman and his anime viewing experience was right.
"Cats are fine, Flauros used to take up the shape of a panther and curl on my feet," Roman remembers fondly. Better not ask about it. "But this one looks unsettling." Says the person who kept demons in his company, but he's oblivious to this. "I don't know, she wouldn't tell me," an indignant sniff, "She thinks I'll just tell everyone and ruin the surprise." She's not wrong when he's just told Waver.
Roman nods, understanding this could be hard. "There's an explanation for that," he says, thinking about the White Titan. A lot of the civilization built beforehand got wrecked and it got to start over. "Alcohol is fine, but I'll bring a cake too." It's one of the few things he likes to shamelessly indulge himself in.
"W-What you think so?" he gasps, pressing his hands to his still beating heart. Mari finally confessing? "But they have seen you not wearing those," he gestures with his whole Cool Professor lady killer attire. "Don't tell me you play wearing a suit." He doesn't believe you.
"Huh," he said, taking a moment to conjure that particular mental image. It was cute, in a way, but also terrifying. Either way, that wasn't the point. Rather than point out that Roman had just let some beans spill, Lord El-Melloi II smiled self assured. "Well, I'll give it a shot tomorrow. I'm far better at keeping things to myself." A bit too good, if his total refusal to discuss certain things was any indication.
Either way, he nodded to show that any weird Age of Gods-history timeline interference was something that he was game for. "We'll set it for a different day. There's been more than enough revelations for now, I think." Casually spoken revelations rather than ones screamed at the top of lungs, but revelations all the same.
It was so much easier to turn to the ridiculous. "Goodness, do you think she hasn't noticed that I've sat here for a while and brought presents? Really now, the question is how will she outdo anything I've just done?" Yeah, this was a bit too silly. "And yes! I've worn jeans and a t-shirt a few times on campus, and I've definitely had mornings where I ran in with a rat's nest for hair because my alarm didn't go off."
"This isn't classified, I'm good at those," Roman sniffs and tries to defend his ability to keep a secret. He's good at those, usually. "It's just Leonardo being difficult." Someone might be a little miffed to be left out, but he's not going to admit it. He'll just sulk until Da Vinci laughs and tells him. Besides, he's the director of sorts, so he should at least get a heads up!
"Well, anytime we're not fighting for our lives sounds good," Roman says, wondering if he should ask Altera first if it's OK to talk about her past. Does she even remember? He scratches his head, trying to remember, most of Ritsuka's gotten out of her is her weird... in-laws connection with Siegfried.
"What..." Roman stops and glances back at the laptop. "You think so?" voice hopeful. They shouldn't be doing this, because someone could be watching and try to prank them back. "Hmm, I bet you still looked cool," Roman points out, "That's the problem. You have this kind of unapproachable mysterious aura and even with informal clothes, as long they aren't rags, would just make your double life fuel their imaginations."
"...You kept the whole Solomon thing pretty well to yourself, admittedly." But that was probably the biggest secret the man could ever have, unless there was some other revelation to scream at the last minute. Was there? Hopefully not. "Unfortunately, I'm now curious, and I think she likes me."
If only Lord El-Melloi II knew about that list Leonardo kept. Then he might rethink relying on that fact.
He considered, then nodded. "Maybe next month then." With it being fairly late in the month as it is, that wouldn't be too long until an opportunity presented itself. Not being aware of Ritsuka's fun connection with the Germanic hero.
Lord El-Melloi II's eyes went over to the laptop as well. "Marie, the ball's in your corner."
Silence was not a great sign. All the more reason to maybe, finally, let it go. "I can't really change that aura if jeans and t-shirt and crappy hair won't. In that case...I don't know what to do. I still also have to teach, I guess."
"That's because nobody would have believed me if I told them I used to be important," Roman says with a short laughter. The Grail did a good job, in his opinion. "So you think you can get this from her before I do?" He's a little concerned... and curious. Because sometimes her inventions are on the crazy side.
"If the schedules allow it," Roman agrees with an affirmative nod, "I don't mind to share what I know. Although I can't, eh," how to put this. "Solomon used to know a lot of things. He saw a lot, and he was gifted in many ways that I've lost." The understanding that comes with the sight, "So I can just give the cliff's notes." Is that how the saying goes?
"Well, how abo-" Speaking of the laptop just as Roman is about to give pointers about the making oneself completely undesirable bachelor, the update notice of Mari's blog does a melodious cling to announce the new entry. "Oh, may I check?"
No problem, I'm about to do the next leg of conference hell
"Well, I guess the few other people who can sense something about you would...okay, they'd believe it quicker than others. Uh. Does DaVinci know?" It felt worth asking. "I'll see what I can get from her. Just out of curiosity now." He shouldn't look so amused at the thought.
Turning to what to share, Lord El-Melloi II nodded slowly. "It is very likely that even if the finer details weren't retained, you know far, far more than anyone else would ever discover about some of these particular points. Cliff notes are likely to reveal more than a lifetime of say, archaeology."
The ding caught his attention as well. "Yes, absolutely."
"Yes, Leonardo wouldn't leave me be until I told her," Roman sighs, grumbling under his breath about how annoying she was with her indirect remarks about trust and relying on her. Da Vinci always suspected something was up with him and pestered him for years. "Mash also knows, I told her recently and, aside of Marisbilly and the Clairvoyants", who know without him telling a word about it, "Professor Lev also knew." He's ashamed he hasn't told Marie yet. "I'll leave it to you to report me anything dangerous." He trusts El Melloi II's sound judgment.
How is he going to word it, though? Roman knows his explanation's going to sound silly to anyone if said a giant alien woman causes havoc in the past. "I guess you're right," he admits, scratching his head briefly, "Do you intend to do an archaeological research based on what I tell you?" When they are done, anyway.
"All right!" Roman hauls himself up and goes to check out his favorite idol's update, merrily whistling her main hit song. His happy expression soon shatters. "Th-This can't be 'How to deal when your most faithful fans are being disloyal to you with strange men'?!"
Lord El-Melloi II withheld a laugh. It was all too easy to imagine DaVinci's persistence on the matter, and how mad it must have drove Roman in the end. The two were a good pair no matter how one looked at it, and that always shone through. But far more importantly was keeping the circle of knowledge as small as possible. "I see. It goes without saying that this is knowledge I'll keep to myself unless you ever deem it otherwise." He closed his eyes for a moment, as if that made the statement more solomnly given. A promise. When he opened them, it was back to DaVinci's workshop. "DaVinci? Make something truly dangerous? Perish the thought."
They'd all die first, probably. But it would probably be a fun death, and that had to count for something. "As for archaeology, I'm pretty sure that if I was to publish any claim, I'd end up with about the same status as that gentleman who thinks everything was caused by aliens. I've been laughed out of one academy, and that's enough for me."
Turning this eyes towards the blog, Lord El-Melloi II choked back a surprised noise. And then proceeded to...flip off the screen. "Now she's just being rude and refusing to admit she made a mistake!"
Traitor! He can see the shadow of that laugh. Roman's going to pout and act as if he's the victim of a nefarious Renaissance genius who can't leave him alone with all that guilt-tripping and pep-talking she strategically plants on his way. Especially her favorite, the one she keeps harping on him for being a 'gross bachelor' at his 'age' as if Da Vinci had any actual experience in marriage. He used to have seven hundred wives (and three hundred concubines, plus some other side women)! He won't whine about it, because he knows at least Lord El Melloi II shares his preference of a single lifestyle too.
"...I don't think I will," Roman says, but his smile falters. He'll need to step in if something goes awry, though, if this threat requires a Grand Servant. He sighs, shaking his head. "She probably wouldn't know, sometimes she doesn't understand there are stakes with her eccentricities."
Oh, he smiles when he says aliens, and gives a half-choked laughter, "Uh, funny that you mentioned you that," Roman says helplessly, "The, um, aliens?" He gives a long stare but doesn't continue. It's almost as if he guessed the topic they were going to talk about.
Roman gasps at the rude signal, spreading his arms to block the screen. "Please don't do that in front of her!"
"For your sake, I hope not." Those were words solemnly said too, because it felt like they both just jinxed the matter. This...this little life was something Roman had fought for so hard, and it would be unfair to force him to lose it. Not every servant reached the grail and got their wish. That was the truth of the matter, and it was hard to not feel real empathy for Roman's position and the mere idea of anything threatening it. "I think sometimes it's less about stakes and more not thinking about the ways something can go wrong or be abused. But that speaks more to her good nature and view of humanity than anything else."
DaVinci was loved in her own lifetime for such reasons, wasn't she? He'd have to ask, and then pray someone like Michelangelo never got summoned. He was a grump equal to himself, by all accounts.
"....Roman if you're about to say that aliens built the pyramids then I want to live in ignorance."
The History Channel wasn't allowed to be right.
Grumping, Lord El-Melloi II withdrew the gesture. "Only because you asked. And the last thing I'll say is that if someone knows you're loyal and refuses to acknowledge it or is this controlling about conversations, I don't think it's right or fair."
"Thank you, it means a lot," Roman says with a quiet smile, that seems a little tired in some way. Still, the possibility is always present and he knows better than anyone that he'll give up his wish if it comes between choosing it or the lives of those he cherishes. That's the world to him. "Yes, I know," he heaves a sigh, knowing he's always harsh with Leonardo. It's something of a habit he developed in his time to fruitlessly push her away. "She's more naive than she realizes sometimes." Though it's admirable she keeps a good heart even with her innate talent. Not that he'll ever praise her aloud. Everyone does that, she doesn't need him to make her ego even bigger.
Michelangelo's not a Heroic Spirit, of all ridiculous fates, but Roman isn't aware of that yet.
"Oh no, that's more," uh, vague hand gestures. Like that cartoon, he wants to say, but the whole affair is kind of bad blood to bring up. God nearly wiped out Egypt out the map, so he heard. "Unless you mean the Aztecs."
Shut up, Roman.
Roman shoots him a pleading glance while he wraps his arms around his laptop screen. Don't do this, Lord El Melloi II, don't make a man choose between his buddy or his favorite net idol. "She's just..." He trails off, "Sometimes she doesn't like when I talk too much about someone else." He admits this. She once scolded him for being 'boring' because he couldn't shut up about praising Ritsuka.
That tired smile was something that Lord El-Melloi II recognized. He had it on his face many times before, and rather than remark upon it, he simply let it pass. It's how he would want it treated if the shoe was on the other foot. "She's got too much going on to think about that kind of stuff," he said with a little chuffed noise. God, Chaldea was lucky to have her. "Did....I take it she had some strong opinions when you told her?"
That was perhaps too prying, but Lord El-Melloi II couldn't help his curiosity.
"Nope!" Lord El-Melloi II declared, holding both of his hands up. "Don't tell me anything, I've decided that this is a road to insanity that I have zero desire to go down. Just...I'll live happily in ignorance on this particular topic."
Archaeology was so much saner than bullshit Nasuverse the other options.
It was the look on Roman's face that finally made him back off, and Lord El-Melloi II sighed. "Okay, okay," he said, defeated on the topic. But they were circling something else, and with all their discussion today, perhaps now was the right time to ask about it. "Roman, could I ask you something with regards to summoning Heroic Spirits here at Chaldea?"
"She's just hopeless in how she admires the way the world is," Roman says with a tired sigh. How she accepts its ugliness and beauty in all shapes, things like that, he's never understand, but he's seen things she hasn't. And he's probably just as bad, but he's a lot more pessimistic which makes him not notice this. "About, er, my past?" He scratches his head, thinking a little. "She figured out I was hiding something about the First Summon." He's tried to feign ignorance but she didn't buy it. She's picked it up from his chat with Lev. "Or about my scolding? I think she's got used to that." She dishes it out too.
Roman's lips tug into a half smile, "All right, all right, no more alien talk. No goddesses from Venus or the Sun. I got it," he gives a nod, trying hard to choke his laughter.
And after he agrees, he slowly unwraps his arms from the laptop and looks embarrassed, ears growing hot. He's just latched to his computer screen to defend his net idol's 'honor'. He's caught up in this embarrassment and fighting the urge to flush in all shades of red and pink when Waver's question catches him off guard. "Huh? Oh, I, sure. What is it?"
"I very much envy that world view some days." That was the truth. Lord El-Melloi II knew how bitter and cynical he was and how he projected it into a persona that couldn't be ruffled by anything. It kept him alive and safe for the most part, but some days it'd be nice to look out the window and not feel well...like himself, for lack of a better word.
"First one, Roman," he clarified. "DaVinci's immune from you telling her off, that's probably a built up resistence. As sorry as I am to say that."
Roman didn't have the mom energy of Emiya or Raikou or anyone. It was more like...the uncle who tried really, really hard but you knew you could ignore him 99% of the time. Unless you were talking about bullshit aliens in which case the things said were ipossible to forget.
"It isn't funny!" he whined, and that would be the last statement on the matter. Forever. Forever.
Roman's defense of his idol wasn't something Lord El-Melloi II was about to clock as weird or even comment on. It...it was Roman being Roman, nothing else. He remained somber, and before he spoke, let out a long sigh.
"Ah, I see," Roman pauses and searches for what to say. It's true he's pessimistic and always prepared for the world, but he also loves it. He doesn't admit it aloud, but he can't help it. Even with all the flaws, tragedies, and unhappiness. "You can still change your mind and rekindle your wonder. This Grand Order might give you surprising new experiences." Going around in different eras, traveling to preserve history, Roman thinks that it'll be a good journey.
Tha-That's unfair. Roman pouts and folds his arms. Should he fear for his dubious authority if Da Vinci's not listening? "I think," he blinks, trying to recall what was her reaction. She didn't look very surprised or fazed about the information. "She didn't care. She didn't ask about my reasons, although I ended up talking about them. She only wondered if she could help me with anything." Leonardo's a weirdo Roman can't figure out sometimes.
Idols and aliens aside, he's finally asking something he's expected to do sooner. Do you want to see if your Servant answers your call? he wants to ask, but the question stays unsaid. "Yes, I can teach you how to operate the machine. It's not like you probably remember," he warns him. After all, the Servants aren't summoned by the Master, just by the Fate system. "If you're looking for someone specifically, it'll be easier if you could get a catalyst." The Servant can still ignore the summon, Fate system allows that. Many ignored their calls when the world wasn't in danger. Aside from Solomon, who was bounded to his ring, only two others accepted to work for Chaldea.
Lord El-Melloi II always seemed to just fall in the bitter camp. It was a wonder that he managed to have students so willing and enthusiastic about the world, as they were such a contrast to the man and his demeanor. His inner life was critical too, but Roman wasn't wrong either. That caused a thin, weak laugh to escape Lord El-Melloi II. "Perhaps." It translated as it's already happening, in it's way, but there were more tender topics to discuss and this one was best left aside soon.
"That was her ultimate reaction?" Lord El-Melloi II asked mildly. It sounded like DaVinci to be sure, but even he had had a strong reaction just now. "I'm...well, it's not very odd for her, but it's still unusual in the long run." The longest run, perhaps.
Lord El-Melloi II was willing to bet that Roman knew what he was really after here. The first words out of his mouth were a natural snappish reaction, "I'd have a catalyst if London wasn't impossible to reach." It was a truth said with that little bit of heat that still resided in him about Chaldea and all it had torn him away from, but the anger died. "But...yes, I do expect that the use of a machine will be different. But if I'm doing the summons, then perhaps Iskandar is more likely to respond."
There. There, that was who his servant was, Roman.
lmao sorry about the iliad assumption I CAN CHANGE THAT IF YOU WANT
He takes that laughter like a 'yes', and Roman beams, but keeps everything he has to say for later. When he's openly more ready to admit he's changed, and the world's become more bearable to his cynical point of view.
"Yes, at least that's what I remember," Roman admits. He also hinted it for months, so she might have already guessed by how cagey he was in general about the First Summon and some delicate topics like the Roman Empire. "She told me she stayed-" he pauses and averts his eyes, as if just he's noticed how embarrassing Leonardo's words truly were, "Er, to help me. She said I looked like I was trying too hard and couldn't leave me alone." Like if she was his self-appointed legal guardian, that's his interpretation, at any rate.
"Yeah, I'm sorry but London this year is unavoidable," Roman apologizes, lowering his gaze, feeling the concern weight his words. It's not Chaldea's fault, but he still said that. He raises his eyes next, looking surprised not by the Servant's identity but by his admission. He finally let him know. A small smile spreads on his face. Iskandar is the Persian name of Alexander the Great. "I'm sure he'll recognize you." Although he has no idea how much El Melloi II's voice changed since his Grail War. "Oh, how about using that copy of Ihe Iliad you always borrow from the Library?"
He's kept the tabs on that and had wrongly assumed that his Servant as one of the heroes of the tales, not someone indirectly related to it.
Quietly, Lord El-Melloi II considered DaVinci's response. It's easy to understand why Roman is embarrassed by it, as it comes off as treating him as someone incapable of looking after the affairs of Chaldea, but there's a more generous way of approaching it too and that's the point that he pursues. "If she hadn't, you'd likely be suffocating under the weight of this place." He paused, eyes flicking back to the computer. "And Marie would see less of you, and then where would we be?"
No where good, that's the answer. Or as bad as London, and Lord El-Melloi II sighed heavily at Roman's apology. It was still on his mind, London. Impossible for it not to be. Just as it was impossible to not be thinking of seeing Iskandar again. Unconsciously, he fiddled with his coat, one of the symbols of fidelity he wore in Iskandar's honor.
"Yes, that might work," he said softly, a funny expression crossing his face. "The idiot stole a copy when he was first summoned to Fuyuki, you know. From the library."
Roman might have left out the context, being Da Vinci nearly leaving because of the Demi Servants experiments, but choosing to stay for his sake. And the years she invested in winning his trust. "That's..." Roman wants to complain a little, but he admitted earlier she eased his burdens. The technical help is priceless, after all. "Truth. I can't deny she's essential for Chaldea to function as well as it does." Especially when most of their tech staff traveled with Marie to London. Then he snorts when Waver mentions his beloved Mari. "If was for Leonardo, she'll forbid it. She always gets on my case about it," he grumbles as if his hobby hurt anyone.
Silence lingers. London is a hot topic for many reasons, one he'll rather avoid thinking about until they restore the timeline somehow. There are priorities to have even against the heart wishes. After the awkward moment passes, he's glad to see Waver talking about his past in such light voice.
"Oh, why couldn't you-" He makes a hand gesture. Buy him a copy? "Did you have to return it?" He's curious because Solomon has been in his best behavior. Command spells didn't work with the King of Magic, but there's no need for them when he'll obey any command. He didn't have much of agency back then, but it's always curious how unruly other Servants could be.
Had Roman revealed DaVinci's near walk out, Lord El-Melloi II would have admitted that such a move would have his full support. Hell, he nearly did the same walk out upon arrival. It was impossible to not see DaVinci's actions as clear headed and made based on morals, and that spoke to the kind of person she was. But as it was, Lord El-Melloi II could only nod in agreement. "It's...it's a reasonable corporate structure, for lack of any better words. Director, then you and DaVinci, as you both seem to make up for each other's occassional weaknesses." DaVinci's airheadedness, Roman's inability to read a room. "Maybe Leonardo's jealous?" Nah, that couldn't be. She had to have better taste in men than Roman.
The lightness doesn't remain for very long. Instead, the demeanor that takes over Lord El-Melloi II is the same sort of exhaustion he rewards his students with. His unruly pain in the ass students.
"It was late at night when I summoned him and he refused to wait," he said, and in that exhaustion, there was a note of real fondness. Love, maybe. "The oaf. I could have returned it but..."
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"It needs seatbelts, otherwise you'll get pulled over and there's no way you four and a traffic stop will go well," Lord El-Melloi II said honestly. "I have no comment about the shape."
DaVinci could do much weirder than cats, in truth. But as Roman's mind turned towards Marie (they still didn't know her status, did they?) it was hard not to see the direction his thoughts were going. And so the cake ensued. "Wasn't there a story about him judging the dead at some point? Not in the Epic itself, but as an additional literary tradition? That could be the source."
He had done some research, if only to understand exactly what Lord El-Melloi II had to deal with. Any further speculation did seem to cut off suddenly, as Roman put two and two together with regards to why El-Melloi II had zero desire to spend too much time discussing the golden tyrant. He was glad for it, and not at all surprised by the sudden willingness to accommodate the expressed discomfort. "Just Archer. Er. Him. ...You know what I mean," he said, nearly tripping over the words. If there was any question about what class Gilgamesh had manifested as, it was now very clear.
"Roman, I have learned a few things from having American sitcoms on in the background every so often, and one of them is that a nice young doctor is definitely a catch," he pointed out. "You've aged fine. Any further protests and I'm going to cross a line and flirt with you to prove a point."
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"Uh, well, it's actually a flying craft," he explains, facepalming. Yes, like a cat-copter, but he can't bring himself to say that. Da Vinci named it different, but that is the best label really. "It has stripes, Lord El Melloi II. Stripes and a Chesire Cat smile." Nightmare fuel. He has to revoke Leonardo's supposed high sense of aesthetics.
"Ah that is possible," he muses about it, "Although not all stories are real facts. But I wouldn't be surprised if he spent some time in his afterlife." He has to make a stop now just to clarify. "They used to exist, I mean during the Ages of Gods. Realms of the dead where the souls traveled after their bodies died. Death was a lot more relative back then." So the living interacted more often with the dead.
He nods. "And the, uh younger one?" There are two, but some people don't realize it's the same guy because younger Gilgamesh acts very different and hates his older self.
He's got a point, so he has to nod. "I suppose I can't argue with you." He's just used to scare away all the women when he rambles about the net idol, he does it on purpose. "You know you should become an idol fan too," he proposes, "That might help you with your problem." He means his fanclub.
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"What the fuck." It wasn't a question at all. A statement, managed along with a long, drawn out groan. "I want to know what the reasoning for this design was. I won't like the answer, and I am aware of that fact, but I want to know." God, he was going to go do that tomorrow morning, first thing. Then spend the entire day in a funk dealing with cursed knowledge.
"I didn't imagine it to be a real fact, just a likely source," he clarified. "But I do follow you. It makes more sense, and fits in with what is known about the Ages of Gods." A time that always sounded like both the best and worst time to be a mage. How might he have fared is a question for never, but...but serving as some kind of court mage to Iskandar could have happened. That was a new thought, and one that did make him happy.
"That one's fine," Lord El-Melloi II continued. "Just the bigger one is...I'd like to continue to avoid him."
Trying to keep with the lightness, a faux look of disappointment crossed over El-Melloi II's face. "I was hoping you'd put up a fight on that case." But...okay, Roman, that's one plan. "If being a shut in playing video games didn't do it, I'm not sure adding idols would do too terribly much."
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"The Sumerian underworld was ruled by the goddess Ereshkigal," Roman explains, there are other deities, but that's the major one. "I'm not sure she'll have shared her power. Gilgamesh had a fall out with the gods," he informs him, scratching the back of his head. Oh, this is probably not known, right? "One of the reasons why the Age of Gods weakened was because he rejected them." While he knows Waver's negative feelings rooted for a total understandable experience and is aware of Gilgamesh's narrow views, he also is aware that the golden tyrant wouldn't want the destruction of the Human Order.
He pauses and doesn't know Waver's thoughts. "This Age is better, we have video games now." But he wants to reassure him that he's been fortunate to be born in this era. He'll make sure to not forget to strike Waver off older Gilgamesh's parties.
He shakes his head, "I can't let you go on. What if Magi Mari heard you?!" he shoots a scandalized glance at his laptop. Her website is still open, all right? "Do they know that?" he presses a little. "Or they just know your cold ice-king professor?" No offense, but he's watched enough anime to know that'll be popular with students.
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Ereshkigal was a mouthful to say, but Lord El-Melloi II nodded along to show he was listening. He knew about the fall out because well, that was the bulk of the Epic's story. "See this is where it's always strange to me how what we know about human history and pre-history with regards to evolution gets along with legend," he said. "And timelines, for that matter." It was always enough to make one's head hurt. "But I feel like that's a talk had with alcohol, not cake."
The point about video games had to be conceded. "We do have those. Better than watching sheep graze." Many things were, come to think of it.
"Roman, maybe she'd finally make a move on you to ensure no one else got to her number one fan," he countered. "...Roman they've definitely seen video game consoles in my office." No, Roman and his anime viewing experience was right.
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Roman nods, understanding this could be hard. "There's an explanation for that," he says, thinking about the White Titan. A lot of the civilization built beforehand got wrecked and it got to start over. "Alcohol is fine, but I'll bring a cake too." It's one of the few things he likes to shamelessly indulge himself in.
"W-What you think so?" he gasps, pressing his hands to his still beating heart. Mari finally confessing? "But they have seen you not wearing those," he gestures with his whole Cool Professor lady killer attire. "Don't tell me you play wearing a suit." He doesn't believe you.
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Either way, he nodded to show that any weird Age of Gods-history timeline interference was something that he was game for. "We'll set it for a different day. There's been more than enough revelations for now, I think." Casually spoken revelations rather than ones screamed at the top of lungs, but revelations all the same.
It was so much easier to turn to the ridiculous. "Goodness, do you think she hasn't noticed that I've sat here for a while and brought presents? Really now, the question is how will she outdo anything I've just done?" Yeah, this was a bit too silly. "And yes! I've worn jeans and a t-shirt a few times on campus, and I've definitely had mornings where I ran in with a rat's nest for hair because my alarm didn't go off."
He hit the snooze button.
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"Well, anytime we're not fighting for our lives sounds good," Roman says, wondering if he should ask Altera first if it's OK to talk about her past. Does she even remember? He scratches his head, trying to remember, most of Ritsuka's gotten out of her is her weird... in-laws connection with Siegfried.
"What..." Roman stops and glances back at the laptop. "You think so?" voice hopeful. They shouldn't be doing this, because someone could be watching and try to prank them back. "Hmm, I bet you still looked cool," Roman points out, "That's the problem. You have this kind of unapproachable mysterious aura and even with informal clothes, as long they aren't rags, would just make your double life fuel their imaginations."
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If only Lord El-Melloi II knew about that list Leonardo kept. Then he might rethink relying on that fact.
He considered, then nodded. "Maybe next month then." With it being fairly late in the month as it is, that wouldn't be too long until an opportunity presented itself. Not being aware of Ritsuka's fun connection with the Germanic hero.
Lord El-Melloi II's eyes went over to the laptop as well. "Marie, the ball's in your corner."
Silence was not a great sign. All the more reason to maybe, finally, let it go. "I can't really change that aura if jeans and t-shirt and crappy hair won't. In that case...I don't know what to do. I still also have to teach, I guess."
i'll probably be slow until sunday heads up XD;
"If the schedules allow it," Roman agrees with an affirmative nod, "I don't mind to share what I know. Although I can't, eh," how to put this. "Solomon used to know a lot of things. He saw a lot, and he was gifted in many ways that I've lost." The understanding that comes with the sight, "So I can just give the cliff's notes." Is that how the saying goes?
"Well, how abo-" Speaking of the laptop just as Roman is about to give pointers about the making oneself completely undesirable bachelor, the update notice of Mari's blog does a melodious cling to announce the new entry. "Oh, may I check?"
No problem, I'm about to do the next leg of conference hell
Turning to what to share, Lord El-Melloi II nodded slowly. "It is very likely that even if the finer details weren't retained, you know far, far more than anyone else would ever discover about some of these particular points. Cliff notes are likely to reveal more than a lifetime of say, archaeology."
The ding caught his attention as well. "Yes, absolutely."
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How is he going to word it, though? Roman knows his explanation's going to sound silly to anyone if said a giant alien woman causes havoc in the past. "I guess you're right," he admits, scratching his head briefly, "Do you intend to do an archaeological research based on what I tell you?" When they are done, anyway.
"All right!" Roman hauls himself up and goes to check out his favorite idol's update, merrily whistling her main hit song. His happy expression soon shatters. "Th-This can't be 'How to deal when your most faithful fans are being disloyal to you with strange men'?!"
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They'd all die first, probably. But it would probably be a fun death, and that had to count for something. "As for archaeology, I'm pretty sure that if I was to publish any claim, I'd end up with about the same status as that gentleman who thinks everything was caused by aliens. I've been laughed out of one academy, and that's enough for me."
Turning this eyes towards the blog, Lord El-Melloi II choked back a surprised noise. And then proceeded to...flip off the screen. "Now she's just being rude and refusing to admit she made a mistake!"
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"...I don't think I will," Roman says, but his smile falters. He'll need to step in if something goes awry, though, if this threat requires a Grand Servant. He sighs, shaking his head. "She probably wouldn't know, sometimes she doesn't understand there are stakes with her eccentricities."
Oh, he smiles when he says aliens, and gives a half-choked laughter, "Uh, funny that you mentioned you that," Roman says helplessly, "The, um, aliens?" He gives a long stare but doesn't continue. It's almost as if he guessed the topic they were going to talk about.
Roman gasps at the rude signal, spreading his arms to block the screen. "Please don't do that in front of her!"
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DaVinci was loved in her own lifetime for such reasons, wasn't she? He'd have to ask, and then pray someone like Michelangelo never got summoned. He was a grump equal to himself, by all accounts.
"....Roman if you're about to say that aliens built the pyramids then I want to live in ignorance."
The History Channel wasn't allowed to be right.
Grumping, Lord El-Melloi II withdrew the gesture. "Only because you asked. And the last thing I'll say is that if someone knows you're loyal and refuses to acknowledge it or is this controlling about conversations, I don't think it's right or fair."
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Michelangelo's not a Heroic Spirit, of all ridiculous fates, but Roman isn't aware of that yet.
"Oh no, that's more," uh, vague hand gestures. Like that cartoon, he wants to say, but the whole affair is kind of bad blood to bring up. God nearly wiped out Egypt out the map, so he heard. "Unless you mean the Aztecs."
Shut up, Roman.
Roman shoots him a pleading glance while he wraps his arms around his laptop screen. Don't do this, Lord El Melloi II, don't make a man choose between his buddy or his favorite net idol. "She's just..." He trails off, "Sometimes she doesn't like when I talk too much about someone else." He admits this. She once scolded him for being 'boring' because he couldn't shut up about praising Ritsuka.
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That was perhaps too prying, but Lord El-Melloi II couldn't help his curiosity.
"Nope!" Lord El-Melloi II declared, holding both of his hands up. "Don't tell me anything, I've decided that this is a road to insanity that I have zero desire to go down. Just...I'll live happily in ignorance on this particular topic."
Archaeology was so much saner than
bullshit Nasuversethe other options.It was the look on Roman's face that finally made him back off, and Lord El-Melloi II sighed. "Okay, okay," he said, defeated on the topic. But they were circling something else, and with all their discussion today, perhaps now was the right time to ask about it. "Roman, could I ask you something with regards to summoning Heroic Spirits here at Chaldea?"
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Roman's lips tug into a half smile, "All right, all right, no more alien talk. No goddesses from Venus or the Sun. I got it," he gives a nod, trying hard to choke his laughter.
And after he agrees, he slowly unwraps his arms from the laptop and looks embarrassed, ears growing hot. He's just latched to his computer screen to defend his net idol's 'honor'. He's caught up in this embarrassment and fighting the urge to flush in all shades of red and pink when Waver's question catches him off guard. "Huh? Oh, I, sure. What is it?"
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"First one, Roman," he clarified. "DaVinci's immune from you telling her off, that's probably a built up resistence. As sorry as I am to say that."
Roman didn't have the mom energy of Emiya or Raikou or anyone. It was more like...the uncle who tried really, really hard but you knew you could ignore him 99% of the time. Unless you were talking about bullshit aliens in which case the things said were ipossible to forget.
"It isn't funny!" he whined, and that would be the last statement on the matter. Forever. Forever.
Roman's defense of his idol wasn't something Lord El-Melloi II was about to clock as weird or even comment on. It...it was Roman being Roman, nothing else. He remained somber, and before he spoke, let out a long sigh.
"Could I try to perform a summons?"
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Tha-That's unfair. Roman pouts and folds his arms. Should he fear for his dubious authority if Da Vinci's not listening? "I think," he blinks, trying to recall what was her reaction. She didn't look very surprised or fazed about the information. "She didn't care. She didn't ask about my reasons, although I ended up talking about them. She only wondered if she could help me with anything." Leonardo's a weirdo Roman can't figure out sometimes.
Idols and aliens aside, he's finally asking something he's expected to do sooner. Do you want to see if your Servant answers your call? he wants to ask, but the question stays unsaid. "Yes, I can teach you how to operate the machine. It's not like you probably remember," he warns him. After all, the Servants aren't summoned by the Master, just by the Fate system. "If you're looking for someone specifically, it'll be easier if you could get a catalyst." The Servant can still ignore the summon, Fate system allows that. Many ignored their calls when the world wasn't in danger. Aside from Solomon, who was bounded to his ring, only two others accepted to work for Chaldea.
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"That was her ultimate reaction?" Lord El-Melloi II asked mildly. It sounded like DaVinci to be sure, but even he had had a strong reaction just now. "I'm...well, it's not very odd for her, but it's still unusual in the long run." The longest run, perhaps.
Lord El-Melloi II was willing to bet that Roman knew what he was really after here. The first words out of his mouth were a natural snappish reaction, "I'd have a catalyst if London wasn't impossible to reach." It was a truth said with that little bit of heat that still resided in him about Chaldea and all it had torn him away from, but the anger died. "But...yes, I do expect that the use of a machine will be different. But if I'm doing the summons, then perhaps Iskandar is more likely to respond."
There. There, that was who his servant was, Roman.
lmao sorry about the iliad assumption I CAN CHANGE THAT IF YOU WANT
"Yes, at least that's what I remember," Roman admits. He also hinted it for months, so she might have already guessed by how cagey he was in general about the First Summon and some delicate topics like the Roman Empire. "She told me she stayed-" he pauses and averts his eyes, as if just he's noticed how embarrassing Leonardo's words truly were, "Er, to help me. She said I looked like I was trying too hard and couldn't leave me alone." Like if she was his self-appointed legal guardian, that's his interpretation, at any rate.
"Yeah, I'm sorry but London this year is unavoidable," Roman apologizes, lowering his gaze, feeling the concern weight his words. It's not Chaldea's fault, but he still said that. He raises his eyes next, looking surprised not by the Servant's identity but by his admission. He finally let him know. A small smile spreads on his face. Iskandar is the Persian name of Alexander the Great. "I'm sure he'll recognize you." Although he has no idea how much El Melloi II's voice changed since his Grail War. "Oh, how about using that copy of Ihe Iliad you always borrow from the Library?"
He's kept the tabs on that and had wrongly assumed that his Servant as one of the heroes of the tales, not someone indirectly related to it.
NOPE IT'S PERFECT
No where good, that's the answer. Or as bad as London, and Lord El-Melloi II sighed heavily at Roman's apology. It was still on his mind, London. Impossible for it not to be. Just as it was impossible to not be thinking of seeing Iskandar again. Unconsciously, he fiddled with his coat, one of the symbols of fidelity he wore in Iskandar's honor.
"Yes, that might work," he said softly, a funny expression crossing his face. "The idiot stole a copy when he was first summoned to Fuyuki, you know. From the library."
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Silence lingers. London is a hot topic for many reasons, one he'll rather avoid thinking about until they restore the timeline somehow. There are priorities to have even against the heart wishes. After the awkward moment passes, he's glad to see Waver talking about his past in such light voice.
"Oh, why couldn't you-" He makes a hand gesture. Buy him a copy? "Did you have to return it?" He's curious because Solomon has been in his best behavior. Command spells didn't work with the King of Magic, but there's no need for them when he'll obey any command. He didn't have much of agency back then, but it's always curious how unruly other Servants could be.
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The lightness doesn't remain for very long. Instead, the demeanor that takes over Lord El-Melloi II is the same sort of exhaustion he rewards his students with. His unruly pain in the ass students.
"It was late at night when I summoned him and he refused to wait," he said, and in that exhaustion, there was a note of real fondness. Love, maybe. "The oaf. I could have returned it but..."
Yeah, no. He absolutely didn't.
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you know it'd be terrible if they bonded after the Fz event
fff i was thinking he summons lil' alexander first
this sounds great double the hot waver mess of emotions
the role reversal is always amusing because he looks up waver
yup and waver's just so conflicted bc lbr he definitely has a terrible crush on iskandar
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should we timeskip after alexander is summoned, roman give him strong coffee and talk about aliens
aliens why did it have to be aliens. |D sounds good!
and we can move this!
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