"No, but you're..." Roman pauses, he's not hesitant to admit this for himself, it's a bit hopeful in a way that he'll accept him. "You're my friend." He breathes a sigh and feels relieved to admit that. "Even if I'm... someone else now, that past is also a part of me." To deny it, wouldn't be like denying a part of himself? He's kind of ashamed of it but he's aware it's not healthy.
"I want you to know it." It's not an obligation. It's something he wants to do.
His lips quirk into a smile. "You're encouraging them by staying a bachelor, you know."
That was a surprise. A real one, as there was no snappy comeback. Or really anything but a single, slow blink. Lord El-Melloi II hoped that Roman wouldn't take it as an insult, it wasn't one, it was just...not words that he ever expected to hear. That was all.
"Okay," he said. Okay to all of it. "I..I just wanted to put all of that out there first."
It wasn't quite a plausible deniability, but the genuineness of those words were immediately undercut by Lord El-Melloi II's reaction to comments on his bachelorhood. "You sound like Reines," he said with real contempt in the four simple words. "Also, it wouldn't fix anything. Then whoever that poor partner was would just get shit, and that's unfair too."
He doesn't know how to read that reaction, but he's made his mind. "I know, and I appreciate it. It helps me to remind myself who I want to be." But still, he has too much responsibility, in a sense, to be ever as free of his shackles as he'd have wished when he was empty. He takes a long breath and reaches out to remove his right-hand glove.
He feels so exposed without it, but at the same time so free. There's nothing unusual about his hand, of course. It's a normal human one, with five fingers, and a gold ring fit on the middle one.
He smiles a bit more broadly at El Melloi II's women (?) trouble and compares him to his sister, "You don't know that," he says, giving a light shrug, "I assume if you ever liked someone to marry them then they wouldn't be the kind of person who is bothered by that kind of pettiness."
"Probably not, but that kind of thing can also wear a person down. Either way," he waved a hand, dismissing the subject all together. "I'm not interested in much of that." No one was Iskandar. No one ever would be. Perhaps it meant a lifetime of pining, but there were worse things to pine for in his estimation.
With that subject gone, likely for good, he turned his attention to what Roman felt the need to share. Giving a quiet nod, he simply said, "I've spoken over what you want to say. Please, go on."
Roman shoots him a puzzled glance. He's not interested at all? He knows he himself as shied away from having a social life, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have attraction or desires. He doesn't pry further though, as any man has his reasons.
"Well, this," he gestures to the ring fitted on his middle finger of the ungloved hand. "Isn't a wedding ring, Lord El Melloi II." No matter what Mash said! Though he supposes it's also a holy covenant just as marriage was. "It's the catalyst Marisbilly used to summon me. The only one capable of it, actually," for he's vowed to follow that ring, since he sent it away to the future, "My true Class was Grand Caster. Technically, it would have been unthinkable one of us would have been summoned by a magus to fight in a Grail War." But Marisbilly managed to cheat better than any of the three families. "I am-was Heroic Spirit Solomon. Chaldea's first summon. When I wished to become a man, I lost the other nine rings, so this one was the one left."
He's not sure why he keeps wearing it every day. Is it because it was his only connection to his old life? Or is it because it is a reminder that he is Marisbilly Animusphere's Servant?
There was a very long pause on Lord El-Melloi II's end as he processed every intonation of the words King Solomon (plus or minus profanity). It wasn't exactly hard to comprehend, Marisbilly was a powerful mage after all. It was more just...just the fact that he had essentially babysat King fucking Solomon at Clock Tower. And then used the man as a personal psychologist. And and and and a million other selfish little thoughts that churned in his head.
The words that came out of his mouth, however, were far quieter and betrayed a sense of really thinking through why it was he was speaking to just Doctor Roman, not one of the single greatest mages in all of recorded history.
"No wonder you wished for what you did."
They were said simply. Honestly. And with understanding.
"...Lord El Melloi II?" Roman asks anxiously during the long pause, fighting the urge to cover his ring. He's still not used to that - Anxiety. How it bubbles up and spreads making his smile falter into a nervous half-one and his shoulder tense. When he speaks again, Roman feels like sagging in his chair in relief.
"Well, yes. I would do it again, so I don't regret it," he admits, although he's spent most of his so-called vacation, you know, working. "Even if sometimes it gets hard to," he gives a short pause, "feel so much? I was never free to feel emotions before. When you met me I guess I was close to a newborn wearing an adult's body."
He looks away, apologetic about how easily excitable he was. There are times he's still has a hard time with emotional responses.
A working vacation really isn't a vacation, but if Lord El-Melloi II was to say that, it'd only be the pot calling the kettle black. When was the last time he had a vacation? Never. Any trip was for the sake of Reines these days, and now Chaldea? That was also work with video games as the only pleasure.
Come to think of it, that just meant Chaldea was business as usual.
It'd be a realization to dwell on later. "Nothing about you indicates to me that this decision could ever be a regret," and that was the truth of it. The line about never feeling emotions though, that had El-Melloi II's attention. He wanted to ask about it (ok, it'd just be what the fuck?), but there were some things he knew better than to prod at. "You've had a lot of things happen that invite overflow of emotions. I'm...I'm pretty sure you've felt stuff through far better than most."
God, Waver. Phrasing?
"And...I suppose that's a apt metaphor. But I'd have just called you curious."
He can't let Chaldea fall, and not just because it's Marisbilly's legacy. This is his home. He can take breaks like browsing his idol blog and use her as his personal shrink. That makes him feel good. Wearing slippers too, it's almost as good as floating around barefoot used to feel.
Roman chuckles at Waver's description. "Curiosity was the natural one to develop first," he admits, "I used to see history as a tapestry." It's hard to explain how he used to see the world when his brain isn't longer able to process or replicate all his memories. "My eyes er, well, I was a clairvoyant, born with the Sight that pierced it all. Suddenly I couldn't see longer than the average man, not the past or the future of things, or what lies beyond this world and timeline."
He picks up his nearly empty coffee. He's sure it's cold now but still sips it. "And what was in front of me became like a fascinating secret to unravel," he makes a face, lowering the cold coffee. "I hadn't developed preferences then, either." Congratulations Waver for introducing and making the former King of Magic addicted to videogames.
Home was understandable. It was the reason that Lord El-Melloi II had reacted so poorly upon his own summons. His home, how he understood it, had been yanked out from under him. There was less floating though, and that was something he'd like to experiment with just for the knowledge of it.
"I think I follow." And Lord El-Melloi II was confident that he did. It was like seeing geologic time versus just living on top of one layer of strata, unknowing how it'd be seen thousands of years later. It sounded like a curse. "Your entire way of looking at things changed, and there was a novelty to everything as well. There still is, I suppose."
He'd be proud to pass on the tradition of getting someone into video games. "I guess you picked the right time to make your wish, in many ways. There's much more to do now than in ancient Israel, although I believe someone might have an opinion in idols?"
Roman nods at Waver's assessment. He does think differently now. More like he's able to express himself either. This is also making him hungry, so he's going to slice another piece of Emiya's cake.
"Yes, it still is," he heaves a sigh, feeling his ears become hot. It's true his childishness is due to his inexperience in most things. It's been ten years and most of his time he's spent in Chaldea. "But living is learning, isn't it?" That too is good, he wants to keep on learning.
What would your sister say about this? "I know! I mean I loved my people, but modern humanity is just amazing," he exclaims with honest affection. He's pretty much the complete opposite of those Servants who yearn for the golden age of the past where humanity was, in their opinion, better. "People have more individuality now, I mean in a positive way." The one about their personal growth, and dreams, rather than the selfish kind. "Uh," he laughs awkwardly, idols, of course. "Solomon wouldn't even be free to browse Magiā Mari as I do so it'll be wasted on him."
The cake was perhaps besides the point for Lord El-Melloi II, who had abandoned the eating endevour in favor of listening better at well, at some point. The conversation had turned in a way he never expected, and that made him not want to do anything but listen, rapt.
"I'd agree that if you aren't experiencing something, you aren't learning. The only thing I say is that you should be doing it outside of these walls more, but that's for the future."
After the Grand Order.
Reines would berate him, so all the more reason to keep doing it. "Ooo, that's a debate to never have with Gilgamesh," he responded with a genuine flinch. Archer, because he would always just be Archer in Waver's mind, was still terrifying. That goddamn bridge continued to be in his nightmares.
At least the idol joke landed. "Absolutely wasted on him. And if it wasn't, you'd have to fight to be the number one fan as well. That'd be a nasty match."
This too personality conversation he rarely has makes Roman nervous. He eats when he's stressed. When he allows himself to partake and he's not busy (which is almost always). If it was about sweets, he and the King of Knights would be rivals to fill their stomachs.
"Uh, yeah, I'd love that too," Roman admits, looking at his plate a little more sentimentality. "Leonardo made this ridiculous craft and told me one day she wants to see the world with me," he pauses, feeling his ears get a little warmer, "And Ritsuka and Mash too. The four of us." However, he pauses a little and smiles fondly. "Let's also shop video games together someday in London, all right?" Hopefully, he's not death flagging them.
He anxiously picks up a portion of cake with his fork and takes a bite of it. He snorts, munching his cake. "Girmlhmesss alrmdhyph knmwowsh," he answers with his mouth still full of food. Then he swallows it and clears his throat. "I was saying, I'm pretty sure that the King of Heroes already knows my stance," he says shrugging unconcerned. It's not like Roman told him his secret, but he knows he knows and vice-versa. "He's one of us, eh, a clairvoyant, although different from that flowery bastard and I," mild-mannered Romani's tongue got a lot sharper now. As far as Roman is aware, Gilgamesh wasn't born with the Sight, it was more granted to him later, and the process to have visions is different from them. Even so- "There's this annoying 'atmosphere' among the Observers. We recognize each other." He sighs. He almost let that slip once in front of Ritsuka and Mash, but he amended it when Roman freaked out. He stabs the cake again. "Are you... scared of him?" he asks carefully, perhaps picking up his flinch. Gilgamesh can be hard to deal. Ritsuka finds him tiresome and is one of the few times Roman has to be the mediator between them.
Then all his seriousness melts away. "Damn straight! Who cares he's younger and more handsome." And wealthy and powerful king. "I have an actual personality... and a doctorate!"
It'd probably be worth an exhibition to see who could devour more sweets, Roman or Arturia. But that was a terrible idea for another day, when there was more downtime to be had and someone else besides just poor Emiya to do all that baking. No one deserved that fate, staying all night in the kitchen.
"...I'm...okay, I'd get a few other servants to test drive one of Leonardo's inventions before taking it out," he said. Not that he didn't trust a genius inventor, but just to be in the safe side. The little future excursion did sound nice though, the kind of real vacation that would be needed after all of this. "We'll max out a credit card together. Then hole up with takeout for a few days." Lord El-Melloi II wouldn't even bother to shave.
Elegant, Roman. Through all the munching, he listens carefully. "It's...the same concept, but different varities and ways of seeing?" It was a point that did need clarification, if only to ensure that he followed the rest of Roman's words. Not that he minded the sudden sharp tongue. Hell, that version of Roman ought to stay as far as El-Melloi II was concerned. It was fun. As long as he could avoid talking about his past Gilgamesh experiences, which was something to engage in starting oh, now. "We've...I've encountered him before, and I think that's all I need to say."
There only Roman's new found mouthiness now and it needed to stay forever. "I'd debate the more handsome part, actually," he offered. "Just for the record."
That poor overworked Emiya lad, at the mercy of gluttonous kings (secretly or not). He truly deserves a better fate than being chained to their kitchen, but he doesn't complain. It's almost as he enjoys the housechores. Roman admires that kind of house-husband spirit he possesses.
"It's shaped in form of a cat," he warns him succinctly, "And I don't think it has any seatbelts." He didn't see one when Da Vinci displayed her proud creation. "I'll ask Marie for a raise," he nods but immediately wilts when he knows he'll have to tell her of Lev's suicide.
He's a master of elegance, and the idea to tell Olgamarie the bad news only makes him eat faster. "Uh, he can gaze the future, but I don't think he was born with that ability." He hasn't asked, but he's quite sure he's developed it later in life. "I haven't asked him, so I could be wrong. I just have this feeling." He shrugs a little. He's not sure Gilgamesh would have been so well adjusted in his youth if he had been a Clairvoyant from birth as Solomon and Merlin. "Anyway, I don't think he'll debate my stance with me. He probably knows that I won't change my mind," he says with a calm certainty. Roman can be flustered in a lot of this, but he's stubborn as a mule too. Because he's seen all he's seen, perhaps even more. Gilgamesh is arrogant, but Romani knows he speaks because he's certain of his knowledge. There's nothing new he can tell him as he could say to others. Even though Roman doesn't particularly agree with his tyrannical views either, he doesn't think his words are worthless either. Clairvoyants have a weird relationship.
But that's unimportant, he puts his fork down and glances at Lord El Melloi II. Before, he says. He can only think of an occasion. During the Grail War that he fought for sure. But Waver survived him. Then the sinking discomfort, wondering if it had been against Marisbilly and Solomon, would it have been the same? He lets a moment pass, two beats, three, and then- "Give me a list about which Servants are you uncomfortable with," he says, as acting director, as a friend. "I don't want to accidentally place you in a mission with them."
Roman laughs at Waver's remark. "That's flattery, and you know it." Still, his heart is pure for Mari. So he keeps the joke. "You think? I'll be a better catch as an aging doctor in my thirties?" He's got some self-loathing, though at least he knows he's not completely hideous, he's got of none Solomon's ethereal and otherworldly looks. But hey, at least Roman's taller.
It was as if Emiya's real secret calling was to be the Ultimate House Husband, and somehow fate had waylaid such a noble goal. One of the great tradgies never written. Never to be written, because Emiya wouldn't appreciate it at all.
"It needs seatbelts, otherwise you'll get pulled over and there's no way you four and a traffic stop will go well," Lord El-Melloi II said honestly. "I have no comment about the shape."
DaVinci could do much weirder than cats, in truth. But as Roman's mind turned towards Marie (they still didn't know her status, did they?) it was hard not to see the direction his thoughts were going. And so the cake ensued. "Wasn't there a story about him judging the dead at some point? Not in the Epic itself, but as an additional literary tradition? That could be the source."
He had done some research, if only to understand exactly what Lord El-Melloi II had to deal with. Any further speculation did seem to cut off suddenly, as Roman put two and two together with regards to why El-Melloi II had zero desire to spend too much time discussing the golden tyrant. He was glad for it, and not at all surprised by the sudden willingness to accommodate the expressed discomfort. "Just Archer. Er. Him. ...You know what I mean," he said, nearly tripping over the words. If there was any question about what class Gilgamesh had manifested as, it was now very clear.
"Roman, I have learned a few things from having American sitcoms on in the background every so often, and one of them is that a nice young doctor is definitely a catch," he pointed out. "You've aged fine. Any further protests and I'm going to cross a line and flirt with you to prove a point."
But he's finally able to happily fulfill his fate. Here and in Mooncell! A story that has a good ending, in a sense.
"Uh, well, it's actually a flying craft," he explains, facepalming. Yes, like a cat-copter, but he can't bring himself to say that. Da Vinci named it different, but that is the best label really. "It has stripes, Lord El Melloi II. Stripes and a Chesire Cat smile." Nightmare fuel. He has to revoke Leonardo's supposed high sense of aesthetics.
"Ah that is possible," he muses about it, "Although not all stories are real facts. But I wouldn't be surprised if he spent some time in his afterlife." He has to make a stop now just to clarify. "They used to exist, I mean during the Ages of Gods. Realms of the dead where the souls traveled after their bodies died. Death was a lot more relative back then." So the living interacted more often with the dead.
He nods. "And the, uh younger one?" There are two, but some people don't realize it's the same guy because younger Gilgamesh acts very different and hates his older self.
He's got a point, so he has to nod. "I suppose I can't argue with you." He's just used to scare away all the women when he rambles about the net idol, he does it on purpose. "You know you should become an idol fan too," he proposes, "That might help you with your problem." He means his fanclub.
A truth, to be certain. And always to be remembered.
"What the fuck." It wasn't a question at all. A statement, managed along with a long, drawn out groan. "I want to know what the reasoning for this design was. I won't like the answer, and I am aware of that fact, but I want to know." God, he was going to go do that tomorrow morning, first thing. Then spend the entire day in a funk dealing with cursed knowledge.
"I didn't imagine it to be a real fact, just a likely source," he clarified. "But I do follow you. It makes more sense, and fits in with what is known about the Ages of Gods." A time that always sounded like both the best and worst time to be a mage. How might he have fared is a question for never, but...but serving as some kind of court mage to Iskandar could have happened. That was a new thought, and one that did make him happy.
"That one's fine," Lord El-Melloi II continued. "Just the bigger one is...I'd like to continue to avoid him."
Trying to keep with the lightness, a faux look of disappointment crossed over El-Melloi II's face. "I was hoping you'd put up a fight on that case." But...okay, Roman, that's one plan. "If being a shut in playing video games didn't do it, I'm not sure adding idols would do too terribly much."
"It's Leonardo," Roman repeats with a dry, annoyed voice and an eyeroll. As if Da Vinci's name alone should be enough explanation on its own. "Who knows what she's thinking about! She always does what she wants." He huffs and crosses his arms. "I'm not sure if you'll get your answers, she's locked herself to do something wild and new." She gets like this sometimes, and he's used to her antics. It's almost comforting to complain about her.
"The Sumerian underworld was ruled by the goddess Ereshkigal," Roman explains, there are other deities, but that's the major one. "I'm not sure she'll have shared her power. Gilgamesh had a fall out with the gods," he informs him, scratching the back of his head. Oh, this is probably not known, right? "One of the reasons why the Age of Gods weakened was because he rejected them." While he knows Waver's negative feelings rooted for a total understandable experience and is aware of Gilgamesh's narrow views, he also is aware that the golden tyrant wouldn't want the destruction of the Human Order.
He pauses and doesn't know Waver's thoughts. "This Age is better, we have video games now." But he wants to reassure him that he's been fortunate to be born in this era. He'll make sure to not forget to strike Waver off older Gilgamesh's parties.
He shakes his head, "I can't let you go on. What if Magi Mari heard you?!" he shoots a scandalized glance at his laptop. Her website is still open, all right? "Do they know that?" he presses a little. "Or they just know your cold ice-king professor?" No offense, but he's watched enough anime to know that'll be popular with students.
"Look, I will accept I just wanted it to look like a cat. Whatever answer I get will be terrible it's....oh fuck, did she give any indication on what she's got her mind set to?" He grimaced. "Does it involve more cats?" Probably not. Birds now? They'd see the results soon, that much was a certain fact.
Ereshkigal was a mouthful to say, but Lord El-Melloi II nodded along to show he was listening. He knew about the fall out because well, that was the bulk of the Epic's story. "See this is where it's always strange to me how what we know about human history and pre-history with regards to evolution gets along with legend," he said. "And timelines, for that matter." It was always enough to make one's head hurt. "But I feel like that's a talk had with alcohol, not cake."
The point about video games had to be conceded. "We do have those. Better than watching sheep graze." Many things were, come to think of it.
"Roman, maybe she'd finally make a move on you to ensure no one else got to her number one fan," he countered. "...Roman they've definitely seen video game consoles in my office." No, Roman and his anime viewing experience was right.
"Cats are fine, Flauros used to take up the shape of a panther and curl on my feet," Roman remembers fondly. Better not ask about it. "But this one looks unsettling." Says the person who kept demons in his company, but he's oblivious to this. "I don't know, she wouldn't tell me," an indignant sniff, "She thinks I'll just tell everyone and ruin the surprise." She's not wrong when he's just told Waver.
Roman nods, understanding this could be hard. "There's an explanation for that," he says, thinking about the White Titan. A lot of the civilization built beforehand got wrecked and it got to start over. "Alcohol is fine, but I'll bring a cake too." It's one of the few things he likes to shamelessly indulge himself in.
"W-What you think so?" he gasps, pressing his hands to his still beating heart. Mari finally confessing? "But they have seen you not wearing those," he gestures with his whole Cool Professor lady killer attire. "Don't tell me you play wearing a suit." He doesn't believe you.
"Huh," he said, taking a moment to conjure that particular mental image. It was cute, in a way, but also terrifying. Either way, that wasn't the point. Rather than point out that Roman had just let some beans spill, Lord El-Melloi II smiled self assured. "Well, I'll give it a shot tomorrow. I'm far better at keeping things to myself." A bit too good, if his total refusal to discuss certain things was any indication.
Either way, he nodded to show that any weird Age of Gods-history timeline interference was something that he was game for. "We'll set it for a different day. There's been more than enough revelations for now, I think." Casually spoken revelations rather than ones screamed at the top of lungs, but revelations all the same.
It was so much easier to turn to the ridiculous. "Goodness, do you think she hasn't noticed that I've sat here for a while and brought presents? Really now, the question is how will she outdo anything I've just done?" Yeah, this was a bit too silly. "And yes! I've worn jeans and a t-shirt a few times on campus, and I've definitely had mornings where I ran in with a rat's nest for hair because my alarm didn't go off."
"This isn't classified, I'm good at those," Roman sniffs and tries to defend his ability to keep a secret. He's good at those, usually. "It's just Leonardo being difficult." Someone might be a little miffed to be left out, but he's not going to admit it. He'll just sulk until Da Vinci laughs and tells him. Besides, he's the director of sorts, so he should at least get a heads up!
"Well, anytime we're not fighting for our lives sounds good," Roman says, wondering if he should ask Altera first if it's OK to talk about her past. Does she even remember? He scratches his head, trying to remember, most of Ritsuka's gotten out of her is her weird... in-laws connection with Siegfried.
"What..." Roman stops and glances back at the laptop. "You think so?" voice hopeful. They shouldn't be doing this, because someone could be watching and try to prank them back. "Hmm, I bet you still looked cool," Roman points out, "That's the problem. You have this kind of unapproachable mysterious aura and even with informal clothes, as long they aren't rags, would just make your double life fuel their imaginations."
"...You kept the whole Solomon thing pretty well to yourself, admittedly." But that was probably the biggest secret the man could ever have, unless there was some other revelation to scream at the last minute. Was there? Hopefully not. "Unfortunately, I'm now curious, and I think she likes me."
If only Lord El-Melloi II knew about that list Leonardo kept. Then he might rethink relying on that fact.
He considered, then nodded. "Maybe next month then." With it being fairly late in the month as it is, that wouldn't be too long until an opportunity presented itself. Not being aware of Ritsuka's fun connection with the Germanic hero.
Lord El-Melloi II's eyes went over to the laptop as well. "Marie, the ball's in your corner."
Silence was not a great sign. All the more reason to maybe, finally, let it go. "I can't really change that aura if jeans and t-shirt and crappy hair won't. In that case...I don't know what to do. I still also have to teach, I guess."
"That's because nobody would have believed me if I told them I used to be important," Roman says with a short laughter. The Grail did a good job, in his opinion. "So you think you can get this from her before I do?" He's a little concerned... and curious. Because sometimes her inventions are on the crazy side.
"If the schedules allow it," Roman agrees with an affirmative nod, "I don't mind to share what I know. Although I can't, eh," how to put this. "Solomon used to know a lot of things. He saw a lot, and he was gifted in many ways that I've lost." The understanding that comes with the sight, "So I can just give the cliff's notes." Is that how the saying goes?
"Well, how abo-" Speaking of the laptop just as Roman is about to give pointers about the making oneself completely undesirable bachelor, the update notice of Mari's blog does a melodious cling to announce the new entry. "Oh, may I check?"
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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"I want you to know it." It's not an obligation. It's something he wants to do.
His lips quirk into a smile. "You're encouraging them by staying a bachelor, you know."
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"Okay," he said. Okay to all of it. "I..I just wanted to put all of that out there first."
It wasn't quite a plausible deniability, but the genuineness of those words were immediately undercut by Lord El-Melloi II's reaction to comments on his bachelorhood. "You sound like Reines," he said with real contempt in the four simple words. "Also, it wouldn't fix anything. Then whoever that poor partner was would just get shit, and that's unfair too."
I DIDN'T SEE THIS I'M SORRY.
He feels so exposed without it, but at the same time so free. There's nothing unusual about his hand, of course. It's a normal human one, with five fingers, and a gold ring fit on the middle one.
He smiles a bit more broadly at El Melloi II's women (?) trouble and compares him to his sister, "You don't know that," he says, giving a light shrug, "I assume if you ever liked someone to marry them then they wouldn't be the kind of person who is bothered by that kind of pettiness."
DON'T WORRY i was in conference exhaustion mode
With that subject gone, likely for good, he turned his attention to what Roman felt the need to share. Giving a quiet nod, he simply said, "I've spoken over what you want to say. Please, go on."
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"Well, this," he gestures to the ring fitted on his middle finger of the ungloved hand. "Isn't a wedding ring, Lord El Melloi II." No matter what Mash said! Though he supposes it's also a holy covenant just as marriage was. "It's the catalyst Marisbilly used to summon me. The only one capable of it, actually," for he's vowed to follow that ring, since he sent it away to the future, "My true Class was Grand Caster. Technically, it would have been unthinkable one of us would have been summoned by a magus to fight in a Grail War." But Marisbilly managed to cheat better than any of the three families. "I am-was Heroic Spirit Solomon. Chaldea's first summon. When I wished to become a man, I lost the other nine rings, so this one was the one left."
He's not sure why he keeps wearing it every day. Is it because it was his only connection to his old life? Or is it because it is a reminder that he is Marisbilly Animusphere's Servant?
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Solomon?!
King fucking Solomon.
There was a very long pause on Lord El-Melloi II's end as he processed every intonation of the words King Solomon (plus or minus profanity). It wasn't exactly hard to comprehend, Marisbilly was a powerful mage after all. It was more just...just the fact that he had essentially babysat King fucking Solomon at Clock Tower. And then used the man as a personal psychologist. And and and and a million other selfish little thoughts that churned in his head.
The words that came out of his mouth, however, were far quieter and betrayed a sense of really thinking through why it was he was speaking to just Doctor Roman, not one of the single greatest mages in all of recorded history.
"No wonder you wished for what you did."
They were said simply. Honestly. And with understanding.
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"Well, yes. I would do it again, so I don't regret it," he admits, although he's spent most of his so-called vacation, you know, working. "Even if sometimes it gets hard to," he gives a short pause, "feel so much? I was never free to feel emotions before. When you met me I guess I was close to a newborn wearing an adult's body."
He looks away, apologetic about how easily excitable he was. There are times he's still has a hard time with emotional responses.
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Come to think of it, that just meant Chaldea was business as usual.
It'd be a realization to dwell on later. "Nothing about you indicates to me that this decision could ever be a regret," and that was the truth of it. The line about never feeling emotions though, that had El-Melloi II's attention. He wanted to ask about it (ok, it'd just be what the fuck?), but there were some things he knew better than to prod at. "You've had a lot of things happen that invite overflow of emotions. I'm...I'm pretty sure you've felt stuff through far better than most."
God, Waver. Phrasing?
"And...I suppose that's a apt metaphor. But I'd have just called you curious."
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Roman chuckles at Waver's description. "Curiosity was the natural one to develop first," he admits, "I used to see history as a tapestry." It's hard to explain how he used to see the world when his brain isn't longer able to process or replicate all his memories. "My eyes er, well, I was a clairvoyant, born with the Sight that pierced it all. Suddenly I couldn't see longer than the average man, not the past or the future of things, or what lies beyond this world and timeline."
He picks up his nearly empty coffee. He's sure it's cold now but still sips it. "And what was in front of me became like a fascinating secret to unravel," he makes a face, lowering the cold coffee. "I hadn't developed preferences then, either." Congratulations Waver for introducing and making the former King of Magic addicted to videogames.
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"I think I follow." And Lord El-Melloi II was confident that he did. It was like seeing geologic time versus just living on top of one layer of strata, unknowing how it'd be seen thousands of years later. It sounded like a curse. "Your entire way of looking at things changed, and there was a novelty to everything as well. There still is, I suppose."
He'd be proud to pass on the tradition of getting someone into video games. "I guess you picked the right time to make your wish, in many ways. There's much more to do now than in ancient Israel, although I believe someone might have an opinion in idols?"
That was the worst joke made.
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"Yes, it still is," he heaves a sigh, feeling his ears become hot. It's true his childishness is due to his inexperience in most things. It's been ten years and most of his time he's spent in Chaldea. "But living is learning, isn't it?" That too is good, he wants to keep on learning.
What would your sister say about this? "I know! I mean I loved my people, but modern humanity is just amazing," he exclaims with honest affection. He's pretty much the complete opposite of those Servants who yearn for the golden age of the past where humanity was, in their opinion, better. "People have more individuality now, I mean in a positive way." The one about their personal growth, and dreams, rather than the selfish kind. "Uh," he laughs awkwardly, idols, of course. "Solomon wouldn't even be free to browse Magiā Mari as I do so it'll be wasted on him."
Let him make clear that one was completely false.
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"I'd agree that if you aren't experiencing something, you aren't learning. The only thing I say is that you should be doing it outside of these walls more, but that's for the future."
After the Grand Order.
Reines would berate him, so all the more reason to keep doing it. "Ooo, that's a debate to never have with Gilgamesh," he responded with a genuine flinch. Archer, because he would always just be Archer in Waver's mind, was still terrifying. That goddamn bridge continued to be in his nightmares.
At least the idol joke landed. "Absolutely wasted on him. And if it wasn't, you'd have to fight to be the number one fan as well. That'd be a nasty match."
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"Uh, yeah, I'd love that too," Roman admits, looking at his plate a little more sentimentality. "Leonardo made this ridiculous craft and told me one day she wants to see the world with me," he pauses, feeling his ears get a little warmer, "And Ritsuka and Mash too. The four of us." However, he pauses a little and smiles fondly. "Let's also shop video games together someday in London, all right?" Hopefully, he's not death flagging them.
He anxiously picks up a portion of cake with his fork and takes a bite of it. He snorts, munching his cake. "Girmlhmesss alrmdhyph knmwowsh," he answers with his mouth still full of food. Then he swallows it and clears his throat. "I was saying, I'm pretty sure that the King of Heroes already knows my stance," he says shrugging unconcerned. It's not like Roman told him his secret, but he knows he knows and vice-versa. "He's one of us, eh, a clairvoyant, although different from that flowery bastard and I," mild-mannered Romani's tongue got a lot sharper now. As far as Roman is aware, Gilgamesh wasn't born with the Sight, it was more granted to him later, and the process to have visions is different from them. Even so- "There's this annoying 'atmosphere' among the Observers. We recognize each other." He sighs. He almost let that slip once in front of Ritsuka and Mash, but he amended it when Roman freaked out. He stabs the cake again. "Are you... scared of him?" he asks carefully, perhaps picking up his flinch. Gilgamesh can be hard to deal. Ritsuka finds him tiresome and is one of the few times Roman has to be the mediator between them.
Then all his seriousness melts away. "Damn straight! Who cares he's younger and more handsome." And wealthy and powerful king. "I have an actual personality... and a doctorate!"
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"...I'm...okay, I'd get a few other servants to test drive one of Leonardo's inventions before taking it out," he said. Not that he didn't trust a genius inventor, but just to be in the safe side. The little future excursion did sound nice though, the kind of real vacation that would be needed after all of this. "We'll max out a credit card together. Then hole up with takeout for a few days." Lord El-Melloi II wouldn't even bother to shave.
Elegant, Roman. Through all the munching, he listens carefully. "It's...the same concept, but different varities and ways of seeing?" It was a point that did need clarification, if only to ensure that he followed the rest of Roman's words. Not that he minded the sudden sharp tongue. Hell, that version of Roman ought to stay as far as El-Melloi II was concerned. It was fun. As long as he could avoid talking about his past Gilgamesh experiences, which was something to engage in starting oh, now. "We've...I've encountered him before, and I think that's all I need to say."
There only Roman's new found mouthiness now and it needed to stay forever. "I'd debate the more handsome part, actually," he offered. "Just for the record."
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"It's shaped in form of a cat," he warns him succinctly, "And I don't think it has any seatbelts." He didn't see one when Da Vinci displayed her proud creation. "I'll ask Marie for a raise," he nods but immediately wilts when he knows he'll have to tell her of Lev's suicide.
He's a master of elegance, and the idea to tell Olgamarie the bad news only makes him eat faster. "Uh, he can gaze the future, but I don't think he was born with that ability." He hasn't asked, but he's quite sure he's developed it later in life. "I haven't asked him, so I could be wrong. I just have this feeling." He shrugs a little. He's not sure Gilgamesh would have been so well adjusted in his youth if he had been a Clairvoyant from birth as Solomon and Merlin. "Anyway, I don't think he'll debate my stance with me. He probably knows that I won't change my mind," he says with a calm certainty. Roman can be flustered in a lot of this, but he's stubborn as a mule too. Because he's seen all he's seen, perhaps even more. Gilgamesh is arrogant, but Romani knows he speaks because he's certain of his knowledge. There's nothing new he can tell him as he could say to others. Even though Roman doesn't particularly agree with his tyrannical views either, he doesn't think his words are worthless either. Clairvoyants have a weird relationship.
But that's unimportant, he puts his fork down and glances at Lord El Melloi II. Before, he says. He can only think of an occasion. During the Grail War that he fought for sure. But Waver survived him. Then the sinking discomfort, wondering if it had been against Marisbilly and Solomon, would it have been the same? He lets a moment pass, two beats, three, and then- "Give me a list about which Servants are you uncomfortable with," he says, as acting director, as a friend. "I don't want to accidentally place you in a mission with them."
Roman laughs at Waver's remark. "That's flattery, and you know it." Still, his heart is pure for Mari. So he keeps the joke. "You think? I'll be a better catch as an aging doctor in my thirties?" He's got some self-loathing, though at least he knows he's not completely hideous, he's got of none Solomon's ethereal and otherworldly looks. But hey, at least Roman's taller.
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"It needs seatbelts, otherwise you'll get pulled over and there's no way you four and a traffic stop will go well," Lord El-Melloi II said honestly. "I have no comment about the shape."
DaVinci could do much weirder than cats, in truth. But as Roman's mind turned towards Marie (they still didn't know her status, did they?) it was hard not to see the direction his thoughts were going. And so the cake ensued. "Wasn't there a story about him judging the dead at some point? Not in the Epic itself, but as an additional literary tradition? That could be the source."
He had done some research, if only to understand exactly what Lord El-Melloi II had to deal with. Any further speculation did seem to cut off suddenly, as Roman put two and two together with regards to why El-Melloi II had zero desire to spend too much time discussing the golden tyrant. He was glad for it, and not at all surprised by the sudden willingness to accommodate the expressed discomfort. "Just Archer. Er. Him. ...You know what I mean," he said, nearly tripping over the words. If there was any question about what class Gilgamesh had manifested as, it was now very clear.
"Roman, I have learned a few things from having American sitcoms on in the background every so often, and one of them is that a nice young doctor is definitely a catch," he pointed out. "You've aged fine. Any further protests and I'm going to cross a line and flirt with you to prove a point."
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"Uh, well, it's actually a flying craft," he explains, facepalming. Yes, like a cat-copter, but he can't bring himself to say that. Da Vinci named it different, but that is the best label really. "It has stripes, Lord El Melloi II. Stripes and a Chesire Cat smile." Nightmare fuel. He has to revoke Leonardo's supposed high sense of aesthetics.
"Ah that is possible," he muses about it, "Although not all stories are real facts. But I wouldn't be surprised if he spent some time in his afterlife." He has to make a stop now just to clarify. "They used to exist, I mean during the Ages of Gods. Realms of the dead where the souls traveled after their bodies died. Death was a lot more relative back then." So the living interacted more often with the dead.
He nods. "And the, uh younger one?" There are two, but some people don't realize it's the same guy because younger Gilgamesh acts very different and hates his older self.
He's got a point, so he has to nod. "I suppose I can't argue with you." He's just used to scare away all the women when he rambles about the net idol, he does it on purpose. "You know you should become an idol fan too," he proposes, "That might help you with your problem." He means his fanclub.
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"What the fuck." It wasn't a question at all. A statement, managed along with a long, drawn out groan. "I want to know what the reasoning for this design was. I won't like the answer, and I am aware of that fact, but I want to know." God, he was going to go do that tomorrow morning, first thing. Then spend the entire day in a funk dealing with cursed knowledge.
"I didn't imagine it to be a real fact, just a likely source," he clarified. "But I do follow you. It makes more sense, and fits in with what is known about the Ages of Gods." A time that always sounded like both the best and worst time to be a mage. How might he have fared is a question for never, but...but serving as some kind of court mage to Iskandar could have happened. That was a new thought, and one that did make him happy.
"That one's fine," Lord El-Melloi II continued. "Just the bigger one is...I'd like to continue to avoid him."
Trying to keep with the lightness, a faux look of disappointment crossed over El-Melloi II's face. "I was hoping you'd put up a fight on that case." But...okay, Roman, that's one plan. "If being a shut in playing video games didn't do it, I'm not sure adding idols would do too terribly much."
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"The Sumerian underworld was ruled by the goddess Ereshkigal," Roman explains, there are other deities, but that's the major one. "I'm not sure she'll have shared her power. Gilgamesh had a fall out with the gods," he informs him, scratching the back of his head. Oh, this is probably not known, right? "One of the reasons why the Age of Gods weakened was because he rejected them." While he knows Waver's negative feelings rooted for a total understandable experience and is aware of Gilgamesh's narrow views, he also is aware that the golden tyrant wouldn't want the destruction of the Human Order.
He pauses and doesn't know Waver's thoughts. "This Age is better, we have video games now." But he wants to reassure him that he's been fortunate to be born in this era. He'll make sure to not forget to strike Waver off older Gilgamesh's parties.
He shakes his head, "I can't let you go on. What if Magi Mari heard you?!" he shoots a scandalized glance at his laptop. Her website is still open, all right? "Do they know that?" he presses a little. "Or they just know your cold ice-king professor?" No offense, but he's watched enough anime to know that'll be popular with students.
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Ereshkigal was a mouthful to say, but Lord El-Melloi II nodded along to show he was listening. He knew about the fall out because well, that was the bulk of the Epic's story. "See this is where it's always strange to me how what we know about human history and pre-history with regards to evolution gets along with legend," he said. "And timelines, for that matter." It was always enough to make one's head hurt. "But I feel like that's a talk had with alcohol, not cake."
The point about video games had to be conceded. "We do have those. Better than watching sheep graze." Many things were, come to think of it.
"Roman, maybe she'd finally make a move on you to ensure no one else got to her number one fan," he countered. "...Roman they've definitely seen video game consoles in my office." No, Roman and his anime viewing experience was right.
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Roman nods, understanding this could be hard. "There's an explanation for that," he says, thinking about the White Titan. A lot of the civilization built beforehand got wrecked and it got to start over. "Alcohol is fine, but I'll bring a cake too." It's one of the few things he likes to shamelessly indulge himself in.
"W-What you think so?" he gasps, pressing his hands to his still beating heart. Mari finally confessing? "But they have seen you not wearing those," he gestures with his whole Cool Professor lady killer attire. "Don't tell me you play wearing a suit." He doesn't believe you.
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Either way, he nodded to show that any weird Age of Gods-history timeline interference was something that he was game for. "We'll set it for a different day. There's been more than enough revelations for now, I think." Casually spoken revelations rather than ones screamed at the top of lungs, but revelations all the same.
It was so much easier to turn to the ridiculous. "Goodness, do you think she hasn't noticed that I've sat here for a while and brought presents? Really now, the question is how will she outdo anything I've just done?" Yeah, this was a bit too silly. "And yes! I've worn jeans and a t-shirt a few times on campus, and I've definitely had mornings where I ran in with a rat's nest for hair because my alarm didn't go off."
He hit the snooze button.
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"Well, anytime we're not fighting for our lives sounds good," Roman says, wondering if he should ask Altera first if it's OK to talk about her past. Does she even remember? He scratches his head, trying to remember, most of Ritsuka's gotten out of her is her weird... in-laws connection with Siegfried.
"What..." Roman stops and glances back at the laptop. "You think so?" voice hopeful. They shouldn't be doing this, because someone could be watching and try to prank them back. "Hmm, I bet you still looked cool," Roman points out, "That's the problem. You have this kind of unapproachable mysterious aura and even with informal clothes, as long they aren't rags, would just make your double life fuel their imaginations."
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If only Lord El-Melloi II knew about that list Leonardo kept. Then he might rethink relying on that fact.
He considered, then nodded. "Maybe next month then." With it being fairly late in the month as it is, that wouldn't be too long until an opportunity presented itself. Not being aware of Ritsuka's fun connection with the Germanic hero.
Lord El-Melloi II's eyes went over to the laptop as well. "Marie, the ball's in your corner."
Silence was not a great sign. All the more reason to maybe, finally, let it go. "I can't really change that aura if jeans and t-shirt and crappy hair won't. In that case...I don't know what to do. I still also have to teach, I guess."
i'll probably be slow until sunday heads up XD;
"If the schedules allow it," Roman agrees with an affirmative nod, "I don't mind to share what I know. Although I can't, eh," how to put this. "Solomon used to know a lot of things. He saw a lot, and he was gifted in many ways that I've lost." The understanding that comes with the sight, "So I can just give the cliff's notes." Is that how the saying goes?
"Well, how abo-" Speaking of the laptop just as Roman is about to give pointers about the making oneself completely undesirable bachelor, the update notice of Mari's blog does a melodious cling to announce the new entry. "Oh, may I check?"
No problem, I'm about to do the next leg of conference hell
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lmao sorry about the iliad assumption I CAN CHANGE THAT IF YOU WANT
NOPE IT'S PERFECT
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you know it'd be terrible if they bonded after the Fz event
fff i was thinking he summons lil' alexander first
this sounds great double the hot waver mess of emotions
the role reversal is always amusing because he looks up waver
yup and waver's just so conflicted bc lbr he definitely has a terrible crush on iskandar
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should we timeskip after alexander is summoned, roman give him strong coffee and talk about aliens
aliens why did it have to be aliens. |D sounds good!
and we can move this!
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