kartereo: (15 Faceplant)
el-melloi ii ([personal profile] kartereo) wrote 2018-10-12 03:18 am (UTC)

"If there's more, yes." He held the cup out for a refill. He'd get up and get it himself, but Roman asked.

Roman's words are...they're right. Lord El-Melloi II hates that he's right, but what he loathes even more is why Roman is correct. It is born of not just a stupid desire to better himself as a mage, but for something even more selfish.

"I stood at the side of a particular Servant once," he said softly. He never, ever spoke of this. Gray had heard a few things over the years, and she knew the most of everyone. Lord El-Melloi II wanted it that way. "And to do it again brings me closer to that feeling again."

Never mind the comments about death and regrets. This is a moment of quiet realization, and one that makes Lord El-Melloi II feel both relieved to be at the core of so many problems and embarrassed that this is a part of his bundle of anxiety.

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